AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
February 2025
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It's a Big First Step2/8/2025 I promise--this will be the last in the "Guy Jumping Off Series." of blog posts.
But after the Agony of Defeat guy last week, someone wrote in that I should watch the video of Felix Baumgartner, the guy who held the world free fall record in 2012. The photo above is a screen shot right after he stepped off at 124,000 feet! A big first step. He gets small real fast. It's worth watching. Felix has apparently retired from jumping off high things. If I was Felix, I'd get a basement apartment and sit in a Barcalounger all day the rest of my life. Felix's free fall broke the sound barrier-he hit over 800 mph. and began spinning out of control, head over heels--well, to use the technical terminology: ass over teakettle, before regaining stability and pulling the ripcord on the parachute. Can you imagine wearing just a spacesuit, going 800 mph, and tumbling? I can relate a bit. It must be similar to hit the "Upload to Publish" button on Amazon, when you give the final approval to publish your book. Into the great unknown. It's been a good week for writing-bad weather here in Connecticut. Much progress on The Final Password. To see Felix's jump, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz2F_S3Tl0Y&t=22s Stay tuned. questions or comments to: [email protected]
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The Thrill of Victory...and2/1/2025 Vinko Bogatag. There's a household name. Well, not really. But if I say "The Agony of Defeat" it brings up a mental picture, doesn't it? The Vinkster is the ski jumper at beginning of The Wide World of Sports!
The photos above are Vinko coming down the ski jump--then crashing. I watched the video several times before I noticed the second guy in the photo on the right. Bogatag is crashing in the center of the frame, but the dark image on the right is an official who had been standing at the take off point. When Vinko began crashing the official assumed the fetal position to avoid becoming collateral damage. The Vinkster barely missed him. When I mentioned The Agony of Defeat a couple weeks ago in the blog it drew several comments and questions, so I did a little research. -Vinko Bogatag is a Slovenian. -His highest world ranking as a ski jumper was 57th. -He broke his ankle in this accident, and had some other injuries, but after recovering continued to ski jump! -Vinko's incident was filmed in 1970, a time with no world wide television or internet, so Vinko had no idea he was famous in the United States. -He was not paid anything by ABC. They had telecast the original completion and had the broadcast rights. -ABC did invite Vinko to the 20th Anniversary Celebration of Wide Word of Sports in Chicago. -In Chicago, Vinko's car crashed on the way to the event, but he wasn't hurt. -Vinko first began to realize he was famous when he walked backstage to prepare to be introduced and Muhammad Ali asked him for his autograph. -After the event Vinko returned to Slovenia and resumed his quiet life as a landscape painter. I've given it much thought but can't come up with a moral to the story, but I have a couple observations: 1) Could ABC have been any cheaper? They couldn't send this guy a couple hundred bucks every time they showed him crashing? It was the reason people tuned in. C'mon--this is the network that paid the kid who played Urkel. And...as reluctant as I am to say it....ABC paid Howard Cosell. 2) If I had any knowledge of how to make Deep Fake videos, I'd make one of Howard Cosell crashing off a ski jump. Sure to go viral. Be honest---how many times a day would you watch that one? Breaking News! This might not be of interest to blog readers in France, California or Australia, but for you locals: Last week I mentioned a biker bar on Rt 44 in New Hartford. A prominent New Hartford native indignantly pointed out that the biker bar in question is actually in Barkhamsted. I promised a retraction, which I hope heads off a possible lawsuit. Working on the JR Johnson novel. The title is going to be The Final Password. Coming soon. I did a podcast with a guy named Hersh Rephun a couple months ago that just came out. Click here to watch on YouTube if you're interested: https://youtu.be/RN-zHSXsIgY Questions or comments to: [email protected]
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That ain't Celsius, either!1/25/2025 ![]() That was the temperature at around 5 am today, Tuesday, January 21st in Colebrook, CT. It had been a mild winter up until then, so in the words of underrated poet/guitarist Joe Walsh: "I can't complain but sometimes I still do." For you red-blooded Americans who disdain the Metric System, that converts to -21.2 Celsius. Using either system, today's temperature is well above Absolute Zero, minus 459.67 degrees Fahrenheit, the point at which all nuclear motion stops and matter would cease to exist. I bring that up because: Am I the only one who has noticed that the national news features weather stories a lot more than it used to when I was a kid? And they like to scare people. Admittedly I was kid a long time ago, but still. When I was a kid they used to have stories about revolutions in Ceylon and stuff like that. These days the news people are worried about ratings, so Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) is out, and whether Taylor Swift's lipstick matched the color of the Kansas City Chiefs helmets is featured. Aside: I am now officially tired of the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce romance. Lots of people have a significant other. I'm also tired of Travis Kelce's brother. If I want to see guys who look like him, there's a biker bar on Rt 44 in New Hartford. Also included on the over exposed list is Peyton Manning and Eli Manning. Although I do admire Peyton Manning forcing ESPN to let his dorky kid brother tag along, I won't be watching them coach flag football at the NFL All-Pro extravaganza. Back to the weather: The national news wants to scare people to get higher ratings so they have come up with new terms: It's cold today. It was this cold thirty years ago, but today is a: Polar Vortex! Didn't have Polar Vortex's back in my day. We just put on our Bronco Nagurski long underwear and carried on. And it's not just cold in the Eastern half of the U.S.: 87 million people are At Risk! At risk? Of what? At risk of it being winter? Al Roker loves to tell me I'm at risk, and so does Jim Cantore. Another 453.37 degrees colder and all matter will cease to exist. That's when I'll consider myself At Risk! Another new term the TV guys use at any opportunity: Atmospheric River. That means it's gonna rain a lot, not that Bill Gates has finally perfected his Secret Weather machine and is able to raise the Mississippi River 30,000 feet in the stratosphere and dump it on a state he doesn't like. Well, maybe it's just the cold weather that's got me cranky. Good day to stay inside and write my next book. Note to language nerds: I know that the plural of vortex is vertices, but it seems a little high falutin' for this audience. Questions or comments to: [email protected] 's
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Spanning the Globe1/18/2025 Did you know you can promote a book across the globe without ever leaving your desk? Podcasts have made it possible for me to connect with readers from Australia to India to Canada—and everywhere in between. Remember the opening to Wide World of Sports? Jim MacKay said "Spanning the globe...." then it ended with everybody's favorite part...the guy falling off the ski jump. Mr. Agony of Defeat.
No danger of that in podcasting. It's odd though, sometimes the production qualities in say, India, are fantastic, it sounds like we're in the same room with no breakup in audio or video. Other times podcasts from Illinois sound like they were recorded on eight track cassettes then streamed from Neptune. Podcasting has given me a fascinating window into how my books perform around the world. For instance, Australia has consistently been my second-best market...ever since Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. That book sold more copies in Australia in 2024 than in the U.S. And every month I get some royalties from Japan. On the other hand, I can't give the books away in the UK...For some reason, my sense of humor doesn’t seem to click with readers in England. Maybe I should brush up on my Monty Python references—though, truth be told, I’ve never quite gotten the hang of British humor! And Ireland’s a tough nut to crack for me—though I did have an interesting podcast experience out of Dublin. Let’s just say the host and I had very different senses of humor! I don't send out links to most of the podcasts in the last couple of years. The hosts tend to ask the same questions, and as charming and witty as I am, I tend to give the same answers. I don't want to wear you guys out. I'll schedule some more podcasts when I'm about to release the fourth JR Johnson book: The Final Password. Should be out in a couple months. Starting to work on the book cover---with Sean, the artist---from England! I can't even get him to read any of the books. Have you listened to any great podcasts lately—or are there any you’d recommend I check out? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Click below to get in touch: [email protected]
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Code Name: Salamander1/10/2025 ![]() After consulting with a marketing expert and doing some cogitation on my own, I have outlined a plan of battle for 2025. And don't kid yourself; it is a battle for peoples' attention. A quote from the soon to be published revised edition of You Look Good for Your Age: "But there’s a growing problem with being a writer—people don’t read books much anymore. Because they can’t pay attention! Scientific studies show that the average attention span of a middle-aged American these days is about the same as a salamander’s. And we’re not talking Mensa level lizards either, we’re talking fiftieth percentile salamander." First to appear will be the fourth JR Johnson novel. Working title: The Final Password. Next will be the paperback and ebook revised editions of You Look Good For Your Age. Third: the audiobook version of You Look Good.... Further details soon. questions or comments to: [email protected]
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Goals for 20251/4/2025 ![]() To reach you goals for the year, one thing is crucial: You need to have goals. First, I'm going to finish recording the audiobook version of You Look Good for Your Age. The audio version is quite different than the original written book, so I'll have to publish a second edition paperback. New! Improved!, Now with more jokes! If you already bought the book; thank you, and please consider getting the audio version. Second, and this is a big one: Finish the fourth JR Johnson novel and decide what to do with the first three books. I had taken the books off Amazon with the intention of rewriting the whole series. I am reviewing that decision with a couple people I trust, and I am also having my once annual paid session with my writing consultant. It's expensive but worth it, like getting a once a year tune up on your golf swing from a professional--instead of the guy you play with who just read a chapter in Ben Hogan's book. Third, I've got to refocus on advertising, especially the golf books. A few years ago Facebook advertising was extremely successful at targeting specific markets, and I sold a lot of copies, especially of Hit Your Second Shot First. Then the algorithms changed, and it doesn't work anymore. I've reached out to a few marketing types to see if I can get help. If you know anybody, please email me. Fourth, I've got to go out a speak more, go out and pitch my books. I'm working on getting more speaking gigs. BTW, I thought last week's blog headline in Sanskrit would be a dud, but an unbelievable amount of people have visited the website this week. How do you say JR Johnson in Sanskrit? It could be big. Get ready for golf season--give this to a golfer, Or try the excellent audiobook version Click to go to Amazon book page: www.amazon.com/dp/B09CGMTCBQ
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Can Typos Write A Bestseller!12/28/2024 ![]() You know how word processors have those spelling assist features? When I make a typo, the program tries to guess what I meant. But my typos are so horrendous, the suggestions are often in foreign languages—like Swahili or Sanskrit. Often the suggested words use obscure alternative alphabets. Sometimes I don’t even remember what I was originally trying to say. I’m thinking of just writing a book in Sanskrit—then letting autocorrect translate it into English. It might turn out better than what I write on purpose. A seasonal note: Being a retired gent on a fixed income, I don't send out Christmas Cards. My strategy: I wait to see who sends me a card, them a respond with a New Years Card. Hand written, the card usually has one primary message--the recipient's life would be better if they would read my latest book. Really-it's not about me, I'm thinking of their best interests. How's this for an idea? If you find yourself in the embarrassing situation of having gotten a card from someone that you neglected, send them a copy of You Look Good for Your Age. It's a kind of one-upmanship. "I'll see your card, and raise you a book." click here to buy the book: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB Note to linguists: the obscure writing at the top of the page states: You Look Good For Your Age in Sanskrit. Another educational service provided by this blog. Questions or comments: [email protected]
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Anybody Bring Their Crayons?12/21/2024 ![]() I work on a novel for a year, only to get outsold by a motivational coloring book? That’s how the audiobook version of You Look Good For Your Age begins. As I’ve been speaking and testing the material, I’ve found something surprising: it changes. It evolves. Speaking it out loud is a completely different experience than writing it down. Sometimes, as I’m talking through the material, I think of a new joke on the spot. Other times, the inspiration hits in the middle of the night, and I’ll get up and head straight to my computer. Here’s the thing: if I don’t write it down right away, I’ll forget it by morning. And sometimes, what seemed hilarious at 2 a.m. doesn’t seem so great in the cold light of day. Those bits get deleted. Does this sound like a lot of compulsive work? Maybe. But does it matter? To me, it absolutely does. This is what I do, and I love it. Writing, speaking, performing—it’s fun, but I also take it seriously. I want to bring my best to every single audience, whether they’re reading my books, listening to the eventual audiobook, or hearing me live. The audiobook version of You Look Good For Your Age will be out eventually. Don’t worry—I’ll give you plenty of warning when it’s ready! In the meantime, if you’re looking for a speaker for your group, event, or organization, let me know. I promise I’ll make it worth your while. I don’t charge for showing up, but I do charge people to get me to leave. (Just kidding! I do, however, sell copies of my books.) Seriously, though—take a look around my website. My books make great gifts. Whether it’s a stocking stuffer or a pick-me-up, they’re guaranteed to entertain... and feel free to color them in if you want to! BYOC Bring Your Own Crayons Any questions or comments to: [email protected]
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Gravity? It's Only a Theory!12/11/2024 ![]() That's her husband. This photo was sent in by a loyal reader in response to last week's blog post in which we discussed men who tell their wives, "Watch this, I know what I'm doing." He's a long way up. The death defying lumberjack in the photo is an accountant by profession, much too clever and self-reliant to call the real tree guy. It's okay, he made it. As you can see from the photo, it's someplace warm, in this case California. I'm not a physicist, but I seem to remember that they do have gravity in California. I fell off a horse there once. Last week's blog post got the most views and responses in the history of this site. Several people sent in written examples of the above mentioned behavior. A favorite: A guy was cleaning his swimming pool. Running low on chemicals, he decided to mix the remainder of two different brands, even though both five gallon containers had large warning labels telling users specifically not to do so. His wife pointed that out. "I know what I'm doing," he said. "Relax." After mixing, the resultant goo began bubbling and emitting a piercing, high pitched whistle. The husband and wife ran and were a safe distance when the plastic tub exploded, creating a hole in the lawn along with several hundred pieces of plastic, and a blob of toxic residue. The explosion was so loud a neighbor called the police. The perpetrator had to explain himself to the responding officer. This behavior deserves more study. So far I've noticed common thread: it's important to have a female present for the guy to act so stupid. Maybe the presence of a woman releases a specific chemical in a man's brain. Feel free to keep sending in examples. If you haven't done so, please take a look at the books on this site. Questions or comments--or photos, to: [email protected]
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Watch This. I Know What I'm Doing!12/7/2024 "Watch This, I know what I'm doing." This Thanksgiving Day a man in affluent suburb Weston, CT. managed to burn his home to the ground while attempting to deep fry a turkey in the garage. In all the news reports this edifice was described not as a house, but specifically as a "mansion," so that's a feather in his cap. He burned down a whole mansion. No one was hurt, the family got out safely. Not all the details have been released, but you know, YOU JUST KNOW, that at some point, mere minutes before calling the Volunteer Fire Department, the pyrotechnic culinary genius, in an irritated voice, said to his wife: "Watch This. I know what I'm doing!" How can I be so certain? 1) I'm a guy. 2) Exhibit A: When I moved from the 'burbs to my 29 acre farm I bought a four wheel drive ATV which I use like a small tractor, complete with snowplow attached. Still have the little workhorse. That spring it was time for an oil change and tune-up, I bought ramps so I could drive the ATV into the bed of my pickup truck to take it to the dealer. I was certain it would fit, but I hadn't removed the attached snowplow. My wife expressed her concerns. Irritated, I said, "Watch This. I know what I'm doing!" You have to drive fast to get up the ATV up the ramps. So I sped the ATV onto the bed of the pickup, the plow smashing the truck's rear window into an estimated 450 million pieces. The noise was shockingly loud. Eventually I had to look over at my wife. I was getting the vibe that she was thinking: I could have done so much better than marrying this idiot. She might have been thinking an even harsher word. I'm now doing research. Is saying, "Watch This, I know what I'm doing," strictly a guy thing? Is it something primitive man said in the hunter/gatherer stage of development? What are the causes? What are the sociological implications? Don't tell anybody this, let's keep it between us, because I'm using this as the basis of a chapter I'm writing for my new book, working title: Watch This, I Know What I'm Doing. Meanwhile, still looking for a holiday gift for less important people on your list? Please consider: go today to buy on Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB Questions or comments to: [email protected]
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