AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
September 2024
Categories |
Back to Blog
 Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever heard of Philo T. Farnsworth? I bet not! It sounds like the name of an old-timey prospector or maybe a wizard from Harry Potter. But no, Philo T. Farnsworth—real name, by the way—is the guy we have to thank for inventing television. Yeah, Philo came up with the idea at age 14, plowing his family’s potato field. Let’s pause there for a moment. This kid is out there staring at rows of potatoes, and suddenly, he’s like, “Eureka! What if I broadcast pictures as a series of lines and dots?” When I was 14 and doing manual labor, the only idea I had was, “When I grow up, I want a job where I sit down all day and talk on the phone.” Clearly, I’m no visionary like Philo Farnsworth. But you probably suspected that. So, TV evolved from those dots into pixels. Think about that the next time your screen pixelates during the last minute of the Super Bowl and turns into a bunch of giant, blurry rectangles. Thank you, Philo. Great job on the technology. Now, imagine being Philo’s parents. Picture this: a nurse asks, “What’s the baby’s name?” and someone, with a straight face, goes, “Philo T. Farnsworth.” What were they thinking? Was this a tough-love strategy? At least they didn't name him Sue. Philo wasn’t just a genius at inventing TV. Oh no, he thought he was a genius at predicting the future, too. Before World War II, he said TV would spread knowledge and empathy, leading to world peace. Yeah, how’s that working out for us? Because last I checked, the most-watched things on TV are gory true crime shows and news channels that make us yell at each other. Farnsworth's claim of inventing TV has been disputed by others who take credit. I've noticed that successful inventions draw many claimants of origin; on the other hand, products that bombed seem to be invented by nobody. Ever hear someone take credit for coming up with New Coke? How about The AMC Pacer? Microsoft Zune? Further research uncovered a quote by Johnny Carson, "If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." If you're old enough, you can probably picture Johnny saying that. Philo T. Farnsworth: a genius who brought us television and thought it would unite the world. He proved that being brilliant in one thing doesn’t make you brilliant at everything. So, remember folks, the next time you’re cursing at your pixelated screen, just think of poor Philo, who thought he’d save the world with TV. It’s a good reminder that sometimes our best ideas are just...potatoes in disguise. I explore the theme of how being a genius in one area can lead to overconfidence in other fields in my upcoming novel: Useful Idiot. Please send questions or comments to: [email protected] 
0 Comments
Back to Blog
 You know, a lot of well-meaning people have told me, "Your JR Johnson novels would make a great series on Netflix or Amazon Prime!" Thanks, well-intentioned people! But let's be real.. Here's a tip for anyone wanting to write a novel: study screenwriting. Why? Because making a movie is so expensive, scripts have to follow a strict plot structure – a lot of that discipline carries over to novel writing. Now, there are over 3,000 books on Amazon about screenwriting. No kidding! But let me save you some time: just read The Nutshell Technique by Jill Chamberlain. I have a copy and it’s helped me a lot. By the way, I have no intention of ever writing a screenplay. Ever. I heard Jill Chamberlain on a podcast, and she said 50,000 new screenplays are registered each year with the Writers Guild of America. Out of those, maybe 20 are optioned by studios. Twenty! And, Hollywood doesn’t like older first time screenwriters. Forty is considered ancient in Hollywood. Remember Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber? "So you're telling me there's a chance?" Yeah! But no. Those odds are like winning the lottery while getting struck by lightning. On a date with Taylor Swift. The illustration above, is AI-generated, my vision of what reception awaits the 50,001st writer trying to crash the Hollywood party. Spoiler alert: he didn’t even make it past the potted plants. So, I'm putting my screenwriting dreams in the same drawer as my plans to become a Professional Chainsaw Juggler. Fun to think about, but let's be realistic. You know, just because there's regular turnover in chainsaw juggling doesn’t mean it’s a viable career path. I currently own two chainsaws which I use for work on the farm. To juggle, I'd have to buy a third chainsaw. I'm holding off for now. I'm going to keep doing what I do: working on finishing my novel, Useful Idiot. But hey, if Steven Spielberg or Ron Howard ring me up, I'll take the call. I’d also take a call from Taylor Swift. I think Taylor would make a great Lola from my first novel. But until then, I'll keep my day job and avoid juggling chainsaws. Anybody need a speaker for an organization? Please send any comments or questions to: [email protected] 
Back to Blog
Do Not Attempt to Adjust Your Screen6/15/2024  Remember that old TV show: The Outer Limits? "There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust. We are controlling transmission. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical..." Well, fast forward to today. Neuralink, Elon's latest brainchild—literally—just implanted a chip in a guy’s brain. This chip lets him control a computer with his thoughts. Sounds like science fiction, right? But, hey, it’s real. So now we have a man sending emails with his mind. But here’s the kicker: Scientists say this chip could work the other way too. Yeah, someone could control your brain. Imagine what happens when Nabisco gets a hold of this technology. Oreo sales would skyrocket! We’d all be sitting in front of our TVs, cramming cookies like we’re the Cookie Monster on a bender. And politics? Oh man, just fill in the blank with your least favorite politician. Can you imagine being brain-chipped into voting for that guy or gal? And what about cryptocurrency? These tech nitwits are creating fake money out of thin air. Wall Street’s all in, trading billions every day like it’s the Super Bowl. But while they’re busy getting rich off imaginary coins, no one’s asking, "Hey, what happens when the computers start controlling us?" It's like everyone’s cheering for Skynet. So here we are, possibly on the brink of becoming pixelated hybrid humans. Part people, part computer. Forget controlling the horizontal and vertical—how about controlling people? I touch on this in my new book, Useful Idiot. Coming soon. (Because why not plug your own book in a joke about mind control?) But you know, I’d volunteer for a chip that fixes my golf game. Slice? What slice? Do you think I could get Nabisco to fund a golf chip in my brain? I like Oreos. 
Back to Blog
Meet Alice6/8/2024  This is Alice. She plays a small but vital role in Useful Idiot, the fourth JR Johnson book. I'm on the seventh draft, almost finished, getting to think about launch date.
Alice first appeared in passing in The Bitcoin Gambit. She lives on Barbara Jean's ranch in Spicewood, Texas. She and her husband Tommy take care of the livestock and general farm work. Alice's new role didn't occur to me until the fourth draft. I happened to stumble across the first draft the other day. Man, has it changed! The above image is AI generated. I've mentioned before that I have generated AI images of all the main characters so I can look at them when they are in a scene. I intentionally generated Alice in black and white. What would Alice say in response to one of JR's wiseguy comments. How would she say it? You might be surprised by Alice in the new book. I hope so.
Back to Blog
You Can't Be Serious6/1/2024 
Imagine transforming a dire, apocalyptic threat into one of the greatest dark comedies of all time. That's exactly what Stanley Kubrick did with Dr. Strangelove. In 1962, Kubrick purchased the rights to "Red Alert", a gripping novel about nuclear war. But as he delved into the script, he saw absurdity in the seriousness, deciding that only satire could truly capture the madness of mutually assured destruction. Kubrick, known for his dictatorial perfectionism, realized that a serious take on the nuclear threat wouldn't do it justice. With a co-writer, he crafted what would become his only comedy: Dr. Strangelove. It's not just a comedy—it's a dark comedy that continues to captivate audiences. You can watch it now on Netflix. I'm not the only fan--and besides, I have the DVD. Several serious movies on the same theme from that era turned out to be tedious melodramas, forgotten over time. In contrast, Dr. Strangelove remains a classic. I first saw it as a 12-year-old, and it left an indelible mark on me. One of its lines, "Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!" perfectly encapsulates the absurdity of nuclear war’s bureaucratic nature. This line, and others like it, distill the film's message more powerfully than hours of conventional drama. The fact that I was captivated by Dr. Strangelove while my classmates were regaling in Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd should tell you something about me. Years later I took a date to a re-release of the movie. On the way home she told me that we should see other people. Kubrick’s film shows that there’s a place for dark humor, a sentiment that meshes with my writing philosophy. As an author, I’ve been fortunate to receive mentorship from seasoned writers. One mentor, reflecting on my work, highlighted the common thread of dark humor. Their advice was clear: "Keep doing that. You're not going to be James Patterson, or Dan Brown or Robert Ludlum. Be you." What are your favorite dark comedies, and why do they resonate with you? Email me at; [email protected]. Just as Kubrick found his unique voice through dark comedy, I strive to keep my writing in the same spirit. If you appreciate this approach, check out my books. Support dark humor and enjoy a good laugh while looking at life’s absurdities. In a world often filled with chaos, dark humor offers a unique lens through which we can understand our reality. Dr. Strangelove is an example of this power. So, find the humor in the dark, and remember—sometimes, laughter is the best way to get a message across.
Back to Blog
My Airline Seat Mates5/25/2024  Whenever I'm flying by myself and walk up to the gate I see these guys. It's always them, like on a Twilight Zone episode. They are my seat mates, we'll be sitting in the same row. One of them will have the aisle seat, the other the window. Me? I'm in the middle, between them. I offer to move, to generously let these buddies sit together, but they decline. They have poor spacial discipline; their ectoplasm oozes over my armrests and engulfs me. I haven't cuddled this much since my wife and I were engaged. The first thing the guy in the blue shirt yells is, "Hey sweetheart! Stewardess! What is this, a bar or a desert? When can I get a (expletive deleted) drink?" He must be unaware that the person he is addressing is now called a flight attendant. And this is First Class. Imagine what Coach is like! Then the captain comes on the speaker and announces we are 17th in line for takeoff. There might be a slight delay. Flying wasn't always like this.  The above is a publicity photo produced by Boeing for the introduction of the 747 in the 1960s. It represents what the seating will be like in Coach Class. Look closely. No bikers in t-shirts. No doors have fallen off the plane. No unruly passenger has been duct taped to their seat. On careful examination you can see that the flight attendants are the very same attendants that are on your current flight in 2024. They're just older now. A lot of airline pension plans went broke over time, and airline employees tend to be working into their golden years. I had intended to use the airline thing as a parallel to what has happened in the world of books and publishing, but I''ll save that for next week. Meanwhile, I''ll prepare for my seat mate when I change planes for the final leg of my flight: She doesn't trust airline food. She knows who secretly owns the airlines, and that many planes crash, but the news is covered up. She's going to tell me all about it. 
Back to Blog
Point of View5/18/2024  Talk about a home field advantage!
A lot of your attitude comes from your point of view. We earthlings might think the above is just fine, but for residents of Alpha Centauri...well, not so much. Did you ever have two friends who got divorced? If you talk to them separately you tend to get different stories. Way different! As though one of them was from Earth, and the other was from Alpha Centauri. Next time you read fiction, if you get caught up in the story, you may not realize from which point of view the story is told. But you may want to step back for a second and think about it. Moby Dick. First line, "Call me Ishmael." Guess who the point of view character is? If you guessed anybody other than Ishmael, you may want to guess again. The story would have been different if it was told by Captain Ahab. Spoiler alert: It helps if the point of view character is alive at the end of the book. So, potential science fiction author, you might want to write a story about the Miss Universe Pageant as told by a contestant who travels from Alpha Centauri to Earth to compete. Hey, that's a pretty good idea! Call me, maybe we can collaborate.
Back to Blog
Don't Be Ned Ryerson5/6/2024  I have an upcoming 55th High School Reunion.
Someone suggested I attend and set up a table hawking autographed copies of my books. I replied: I don't want to be Ned Ryerson. Remember Ned from movie Groundhog Day? As Bill Murray's character experienced the same day over and over, his high school classmate and now life insurance salesman Ned Ryerson gave him the high pressure sales pitch every day. As it is, enough people are avoiding me already! So this week, no high pressure. Consider this website a virtual book store with a limited number of titles for sale. Feel free to browse, with no one looking over your shoulder. At least I know there won't be any shoplifting. Next week: back to normal. As Ned Ryerson would say: Am I right? Bing! Or am I right? BING!!!
Back to Blog
New! Improved!5/4/2024  There are some big changes coming to the JIMFLYNNSIX.COM website. Above is an easy one: a new cover for The 10 Greatest Golfers of All Time. I looked at the old cover and decided it needed an upgrade. I also had the interior text professionally formatted. Similar moves to Hit Your Second Shot First resulted in quintupling sales! D'uh! What was I waiting for?
The addition of a humorous figure lets browsing potential readers know that this book isn't entirely serious. A similar upgrade is in the works for Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. Bigger substantial changes will be discussed in the next few weeks. Meanwhile, if you're looking for a gift for that dorky golfer in your life here's a link to the Amazon page to order The 10 Greatest Golfers of All Time: www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5S7Q58F By the way, last week's blog in which I made fun of my friend Bob was by far the most popular blog post I've done. I explained to Bob that it makes people feel better about themselves when I make fun of a handsome rich guy. So, you may see an AI generated image of terrified Bob fleeing from a murderous alligator on golf course in Florida in the weeks to come. I'm encouraging reader input. Any potentially dangerous, life threatening scenarios for Bob you'd like to see? Send suggestions to me at: [email protected]
Back to Blog
I've made fun of my friend Bob in the past, but I have to say I'm proud of him for his amazing transformation.
That's Bob on the left after he retired and became a legal resident of Florida. He may have adjusted to the laid back Southern lifestyle a bit too much. Perhaps inspired by an upcoming 55th high school reunion, Bob initiated a rigorous program including diet and exercise. He may also have been motivated by the thought of possibly being challenged by a woman named Debbie, who routinely trounced all the boys in arm wrestling when we were in the eight grade. That's the new Bob on the right, ready in case Debbie shows up. My attorney advises me to include the following disclaimer: The photos have not been 100% verified. Photos may be actor portrayals based on actual events. Your results may vary. |
RSS Feed
