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Blog of Jim Flynn

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    Jim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected]

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Miss Moneypenny, please access the Compute-O-File!

10/28/2023

 
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This is state-of-the-art computer storage in 1962, I'm not going to bore you with words that begin with mega or giga, I'll just say that your cellphone has way more storage than this monstrosity, and can access the information thousands of times faster. And your phone is connected to the Internet. The machine above was connected to nothing.

So what? It's speed and connectivity that make AI work. Computer scientists thought of Artificial Intelligence a long time ago, it's just that the computers were too slow, and didn't have access to the entire world's information to make AI useful.

AI is changing the world of books and writing. Amazon recently clarified its policy on submissions of books written by Artificial Intelligence. In an attempt to regulate the flood of submissions, Amazon will accept ONLY three books a day from an author! This is true, I am not making this up.

Who do you think can write three books a day? Go on YouTube. There are lots of videos that show you how to write a novel in minutes. More accurately, it shows you how to direct AI how to write the novel. You don't even have to come up with the idea, AI will suggest plot outlines.

Warren Buffett famously said: When you see a line, don't get in it.

This means when everybody is already doing the same thing, it's too late. To be successful, you have to do something different.

There are at least 85,000 Self-Help books. The Circle of Awareness is, The Funniest, Most Outrageous Self-Help book of all-time.

It is different. The Circle of Awareness, coming soon.

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Careful How You Dress for the Zoo

10/20/2023

 
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Never make the mistake of wearing an orange shirt to Home Depot.
Don’t-it’s like dressing up as an elephant and going to the zoo.

I did it once.
I was on the way home from playing golf. Had on my lucky orange golf shirt.
It didn’t matter that I had on shorts, sunglasses, and a golf visor.
I was wearing orange.
This guy gets in my face. “Do you work here?” he demands.
And did not wait for an answer—I was wearing orange-
I was a target of opportunity.
“Where are the pipe stem extenders?”

The right way to answer? Being the thoughtful, tolerant, helpful guy I am,
and since we were standing in the front of aisle two,
“Aisle 18—all the way in the back, by the loading dock” I said.
The guy mutters, “What’s wrong with this place? I can never find anybody to help me around here”
“You still haven’t”
“What?”
“Aisle 18, way in the back.”
​
What does that have to do with anything?
Because that guy is Unaware.
And I’m an expert at judging who’s Aware and who’s Unaware.
Aware of what? I wrote the book on it. The Circle of Awareness.
And you’re gonna have to read the book to find out.
Coming Soon.
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Ideas from Outer Space

10/13/2023

 
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People often inquire about the mysterious origins of my ideas. Well, I'm here to reveal my secret source: Outer Space. 

Not really.

Now, you might be wondering about the peculiar image above. No, it's not me in my backyard with a makeshift antenna trying to intercept cosmic inspiration. That's actually a snapshot of yours truly at the awe-inspiring Very Large Array (VLA) in the heart of New Mexico. If you're even remotely fascinated by the mysteries of the cosmos, this place is a must-visit. Imagine 28 colossal radio telescopes, each capable of capturing the whispers of the universe, all sprawled across the vast desert landscape. It's a humbling reminder that America extends far beyond the bustling I-95 corridor.

Interestingly, the VLA has also played a role in the world of cinema. One of its star-studded appearances was in the film "Contact," starring the brilliant Jodie Foster. And speaking of stars, Ms. Foster herself lends her voice to the excellent film at the visitor center at the site. Oh, and by the way, I couldn't resist picking up three souvenir guitar picks there. Not your everyday find at most visitor centers, I must say!

Now, if you're curious about how to embark on your own VLA adventure, here's the scoop. First, hop on a plane to Albuquerque. Then, brace yourself for a drive to the Middle of Nowhere, followed by an expedition to the Middle of The Middle of Nowhere. The reason for this remote location? To steer clear of any pesky radio signals that could disrupt the telescopes' delicate work.

As for the inspiration behind this photo, it ties in with my current project, The Circle of Awareness. It's a hilarious take on self-help books, where some individuals believe they're sending out waves to the Universe and receiving cosmic responses in return. It's written by Jimmy Sizemore, as told to Jim Flynn. Some of you remember Jimmy from Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It.

Stay tuned, because The Circle of Awareness is headed your way soon, ready to take you on a comical journey through the cosmos of self-improvement! And the conclusion has Jimmy's all time wildest Self-Help solution.




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A Matter of Perspective

10/7/2023

 
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Look at the fish that I caught!

​On closer inspection it's an action figure holding a small fish.
It reminded me of something I see every day.
I get emails from marketing savants who want to charge writers a fee for helping them with selling their books
.

It feels like every time you turn around there's another marketing guru ready to share their wisdom. 

One of the things the marketers are always pitching is to put your book in an obscure niche category on Amazon so it will be the big fish in a mud puddle. They call this a "Marketing Hack."

I'm tired of Hacks. It's a lazy idea that millennials use. Remember when people took pride in originality?

How about writing an interesting book that a lot of people want to read?

​And you millennials stay off my lawn!

I'm working on: The Circle of Awareness. Coming soon to a big pond near you.









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