AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
October 2024
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My Airline Seat Mates5/25/2024  Whenever I'm flying by myself and walk up to the gate I see these guys. It's always them, like on a Twilight Zone episode. They are my seat mates, we'll be sitting in the same row. One of them will have the aisle seat, the other the window. Me? I'm in the middle, between them. I offer to move, to generously let these buddies sit together, but they decline. They have poor spacial discipline; their ectoplasm oozes over my armrests and engulfs me. I haven't cuddled this much since my wife and I were engaged. The first thing the guy in the blue shirt yells is, "Hey sweetheart! Stewardess! What is this, a bar or a desert? When can I get a (expletive deleted) drink?" He must be unaware that the person he is addressing is now called a flight attendant. And this is First Class. Imagine what Coach is like! Then the captain comes on the speaker and announces we are 17th in line for takeoff. There might be a slight delay. Flying wasn't always like this.  The above is a publicity photo produced by Boeing for the introduction of the 747 in the 1960s. It represents what the seating will be like in Coach Class. Look closely. No bikers in t-shirts. No doors have fallen off the plane. No unruly passenger has been duct taped to their seat. On careful examination you can see that the flight attendants are the very same attendants that are on your current flight in 2024. They're just older now. A lot of airline pension plans went broke over time, and airline employees tend to be working into their golden years. I had intended to use the airline thing as a parallel to what has happened in the world of books and publishing, but I''ll save that for next week. Meanwhile, I''ll prepare for my seat mate when I change planes for the final leg of my flight: She doesn't trust airline food. She knows who secretly owns the airlines, and that many planes crash, but the news is covered up. She's going to tell me all about it. 
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Point of View5/18/2024  Talk about a home field advantage!
A lot of your attitude comes from your point of view. We earthlings might think the above is just fine, but for residents of Alpha Centauri...well, not so much. Did you ever have two friends who got divorced? If you talk to them separately you tend to get different stories. Way different! As though one of them was from Earth, and the other was from Alpha Centauri. Next time you read fiction, if you get caught up in the story, you may not realize from which point of view the story is told. But you may want to step back for a second and think about it. Moby Dick. First line, "Call me Ishmael." Guess who the point of view character is? If you guessed anybody other than Ishmael, you may want to guess again. The story would have been different if it was told by Captain Ahab. Spoiler alert: It helps if the point of view character is alive at the end of the book. So, potential science fiction author, you might want to write a story about the Miss Universe Pageant as told by a contestant who travels from Alpha Centauri to Earth to compete. Hey, that's a pretty good idea! Call me, maybe we can collaborate.
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Don't Be Ned Ryerson5/6/2024  I have an upcoming 55th High School Reunion.
Someone suggested I attend and set up a table hawking autographed copies of my books. I replied: I don't want to be Ned Ryerson. Remember Ned from movie Groundhog Day? As Bill Murray's character experienced the same day over and over, his high school classmate and now life insurance salesman Ned Ryerson gave him the high pressure sales pitch every day. As it is, enough people are avoiding me already! So this week, no high pressure. Consider this website a virtual book store with a limited number of titles for sale. Feel free to browse, with no one looking over your shoulder. At least I know there won't be any shoplifting. Next week: back to normal. As Ned Ryerson would say: Am I right? Bing! Or am I right? BING!!!
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New! Improved!5/4/2024  There are some big changes coming to the JIMFLYNNSIX.COM website. Above is an easy one: a new cover for The 10 Greatest Golfers of All Time. I looked at the old cover and decided it needed an upgrade. I also had the interior text professionally formatted. Similar moves to Hit Your Second Shot First resulted in quintupling sales! D'uh! What was I waiting for?
The addition of a humorous figure lets browsing potential readers know that this book isn't entirely serious. A similar upgrade is in the works for Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. Bigger substantial changes will be discussed in the next few weeks. Meanwhile, if you're looking for a gift for that dorky golfer in your life here's a link to the Amazon page to order The 10 Greatest Golfers of All Time: www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5S7Q58F By the way, last week's blog in which I made fun of my friend Bob was by far the most popular blog post I've done. I explained to Bob that it makes people feel better about themselves when I make fun of a handsome rich guy. So, you may see an AI generated image of terrified Bob fleeing from a murderous alligator on golf course in Florida in the weeks to come. I'm encouraging reader input. Any potentially dangerous, life threatening scenarios for Bob you'd like to see? Send suggestions to me at: [email protected] |
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