AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
October 2024
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I've made fun of my friend Bob in the past, but I have to say I'm proud of him for his amazing transformation.
That's Bob on the left after he retired and became a legal resident of Florida. He may have adjusted to the laid back Southern lifestyle a bit too much. Perhaps inspired by an upcoming 55th high school reunion, Bob initiated a rigorous program including diet and exercise. He may also have been motivated by the thought of possibly being challenged by a woman named Debbie, who routinely trounced all the boys in arm wrestling when we were in the eight grade. That's the new Bob on the right, ready in case Debbie shows up. My attorney advises me to include the following disclaimer: The photos have not been 100% verified. Photos may be actor portrayals based on actual events. Your results may vary.
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Time Enough at Last4/20/2024  When I was a kid the Twilight Zone wasn't just a TV show, it was my gateway into the world of fiction, unlike the boring stuff I was forced to read in school. Pictured above is the great Burgess Meredith in one of the best episodes, Time Enough at Last. It originally aired 65 years ago! The episodes are on Netflix, I still watch once in a while. At its best the Twilight Zone accomplished what fiction is aiming for: To draw the viewer, or reader into the world of the protagonist, and to forget their own troubles for a while.
Meredith's character, Henry Bemis, is a bookworm trapped in a life filled with annoyingly non-literary distractions like his job and his wife. His dream comes true when a nuclear bomb conveniently goes off while he's safely cocooned in a bank vault. Post-apocalypse, he finds he has all the time in the world—until his glasses break. Typical Twilight Zone ironic plot twist. I know, there are a lot of plot holes! Yes, let’s ignore that in reality, Bemis would’ve likely been vaporized, or walking into a still deadly radioactive wasteland rather than a librarian’s paradise. Suspension of disbelief is part of the enjoyment of storytelling. Remember it's a parable, and even Rod Serling probably didn't think we'd be discussing this episode in 2024. So, how does Bemis’ shattered spectacles relate to me? Well, I've always wanted to write, and retirement supposedly handed me 'time enough at last.' Instead, I’m battling the dreaded blank screen and fixing yesterday’s less-than-ready-for-prime-time prose. And let's not forget what author Steven Pressfield calls: Resistance, with a capital R, a force that stops you from doing your work, that leads you to time wasting on social media and checking your emails. But unlike Bemis, I’m prepared—I’ve got backup glasses. And it's fun making up stories. Today I'm going to be a guest on a podcast where I promise to be more amusing than whiny—think of me as a cheerier, more verbose Bemis, just with better luck in eyewear. BREAKING NEWS! Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb1O6BCeGcc Note: whenever I watch, part of the fun is trying to talk like Rod Serling. He says "The Twilight Zone," with his teeth clenched. Try It!
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Did Lyle Alzado Ever Meet Mr. Rogers?4/14/2024  Pictured above is the late Lyle Alzado, of the Oakland Raiders. Just a guess, but I don't think he's asking members of the Denvers Broncos to please be his neighbor.
By all accounts Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was a genuinely nice man. But if everybody was Mr. Rogers, Thriller Novels would be pretty boring. Example: Opening of The Ice Cream Caper The group of three met every week at their secret location. Actually, everybody in town knew their secret location "Let's go to the Ice Cream Parlor," said Mark. "And maybe we can help some old ladies across the street like we did last time." "That sounds swell," answered "Grasshopper" Jones. "That way I can be home in time to meditate." See? You need some Lyle Alzados to stir up the mix. And the real world has plenty of people who plot to steal other people's money, and don't care about the consequences. Without bad guys, there can't be any good guys. Conflict! High Stakes! Bad Guys! That's what makes a story. In Useful Idiot, the bad guy is very bad. He's not shy about "misplacing" people who stand in the way of the big payday. Misplacing people is not a Mr. Rogers approved opportunity.
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Someone I know is going through chemo, and has the inevitable hair loss. I pledged to shave my head as a show of solidarity.
After shooting off my big mouth, I was pretty sure I'd look like a naked mole rat, but took the plunge. After the first swipe with the clippers, I was committed. I look better than I feared. I went grocery shopping today, and a biker chick was checking me out. Well, I think she used to be a biker chick, she was using a walker. I have provided a self portrait and a picture of a naked mole rat for comparison. That's me on the left, the one with the glasses and no tail. I admit: the rat has better coloring. I know, I know, members of the Bald Brotherhood are saying, "Big Deal!" But it's different when all the hair comes off at once, as opposed to over a period of years. Went to the YMCA, and another swimmer asked me if I shaved my head for hydrodynamic efficiency. I'm nowhere near that serious about swimming, but I just said "No." He can always read my blog if he wants the entire story. I usually welcome all comments, but if you think I do look like a naked mole rat, keep it to yourself. I'll talk about writing next week. |
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