AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
March 2025
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 Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever heard of Philo T. Farnsworth? I bet not! It sounds like the name of an old-timey prospector or maybe a wizard from Harry Potter. But no, Philo T. Farnsworth—real name, by the way—is the guy we have to thank for inventing television. Yeah, Philo came up with the idea at age 14, plowing his family’s potato field. Let’s pause there for a moment. This kid is out there staring at rows of potatoes, and suddenly, he’s like, “Eureka! What if I broadcast pictures as a series of lines and dots?” When I was 14 and doing manual labor, the only idea I had was, “When I grow up, I want a job where I sit down all day and talk on the phone.” Clearly, I’m no visionary like Philo Farnsworth. But you probably suspected that. So, TV evolved from those dots into pixels. Think about that the next time your screen pixelates during the last minute of the Super Bowl and turns into a bunch of giant, blurry rectangles. Thank you, Philo. Great job on the technology. Now, imagine being Philo’s parents. Picture this: a nurse asks, “What’s the baby’s name?” and someone, with a straight face, goes, “Philo T. Farnsworth.” What were they thinking? Was this a tough-love strategy? At least they didn't name him Sue. Philo wasn’t just a genius at inventing TV. Oh no, he thought he was a genius at predicting the future, too. Before World War II, he said TV would spread knowledge and empathy, leading to world peace. Yeah, how’s that working out for us? Because last I checked, the most-watched things on TV are gory true crime shows and news channels that make us yell at each other. Farnsworth's claim of inventing TV has been disputed by others who take credit. I've noticed that successful inventions draw many claimants of origin; on the other hand, products that bombed seem to be invented by nobody. Ever hear someone take credit for coming up with New Coke? How about The AMC Pacer? Microsoft Zune? Further research uncovered a quote by Johnny Carson, "If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." If you're old enough, you can probably picture Johnny saying that. Philo T. Farnsworth: a genius who brought us television and thought it would unite the world. He proved that being brilliant in one thing doesn’t make you brilliant at everything. So, remember folks, the next time you’re cursing at your pixelated screen, just think of poor Philo, who thought he’d save the world with TV. It’s a good reminder that sometimes our best ideas are just...potatoes in disguise. I explore the theme of how being a genius in one area can lead to overconfidence in other fields in my upcoming novel: Useful Idiot. Please send questions or comments to: [email protected] 
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 You know, a lot of well-meaning people have told me, "Your JR Johnson novels would make a great series on Netflix or Amazon Prime!" Thanks, well-intentioned people! But let's be real.. Here's a tip for anyone wanting to write a novel: study screenwriting. Why? Because making a movie is so expensive, scripts have to follow a strict plot structure – a lot of that discipline carries over to novel writing. Now, there are over 3,000 books on Amazon about screenwriting. No kidding! But let me save you some time: just read The Nutshell Technique by Jill Chamberlain. I have a copy and it’s helped me a lot. By the way, I have no intention of ever writing a screenplay. Ever. I heard Jill Chamberlain on a podcast, and she said 50,000 new screenplays are registered each year with the Writers Guild of America. Out of those, maybe 20 are optioned by studios. Twenty! And, Hollywood doesn’t like older first time screenwriters. Forty is considered ancient in Hollywood. Remember Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber? "So you're telling me there's a chance?" Yeah! But no. Those odds are like winning the lottery while getting struck by lightning. On a date with Taylor Swift. The illustration above, is AI-generated, my vision of what reception awaits the 50,001st writer trying to crash the Hollywood party. Spoiler alert: he didn’t even make it past the potted plants. So, I'm putting my screenwriting dreams in the same drawer as my plans to become a Professional Chainsaw Juggler. Fun to think about, but let's be realistic. You know, just because there's regular turnover in chainsaw juggling doesn’t mean it’s a viable career path. I currently own two chainsaws which I use for work on the farm. To juggle, I'd have to buy a third chainsaw. I'm holding off for now. I'm going to keep doing what I do: working on finishing my novel, Useful Idiot. But hey, if Steven Spielberg or Ron Howard ring me up, I'll take the call. I’d also take a call from Taylor Swift. I think Taylor would make a great Lola from my first novel. But until then, I'll keep my day job and avoid juggling chainsaws. Anybody need a speaker for an organization? Please send any comments or questions to: [email protected] 
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Do Not Attempt to Adjust Your Screen6/15/2024  Remember that old TV show: The Outer Limits? "There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust. We are controlling transmission. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical..." Well, fast forward to today. Neuralink, Elon's latest brainchild—literally—just implanted a chip in a guy’s brain. This chip lets him control a computer with his thoughts. Sounds like science fiction, right? But, hey, it’s real. So now we have a man sending emails with his mind. But here’s the kicker: Scientists say this chip could work the other way too. Yeah, someone could control your brain. Imagine what happens when Nabisco gets a hold of this technology. Oreo sales would skyrocket! We’d all be sitting in front of our TVs, cramming cookies like we’re the Cookie Monster on a bender. And politics? Oh man, just fill in the blank with your least favorite politician. Can you imagine being brain-chipped into voting for that guy or gal? And what about cryptocurrency? These tech nitwits are creating fake money out of thin air. Wall Street’s all in, trading billions every day like it’s the Super Bowl. But while they’re busy getting rich off imaginary coins, no one’s asking, "Hey, what happens when the computers start controlling us?" It's like everyone’s cheering for Skynet. So here we are, possibly on the brink of becoming pixelated hybrid humans. Part people, part computer. Forget controlling the horizontal and vertical—how about controlling people? I touch on this in my new book, Useful Idiot. Coming soon. (Because why not plug your own book in a joke about mind control?) But you know, I’d volunteer for a chip that fixes my golf game. Slice? What slice? Do you think I could get Nabisco to fund a golf chip in my brain? I like Oreos. 
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Meet Alice6/8/2024  This is Alice. She plays a small but vital role in Useful Idiot, the fourth JR Johnson book. I'm on the seventh draft, almost finished, getting to think about launch date.
Alice first appeared in passing in The Bitcoin Gambit. She lives on Barbara Jean's ranch in Spicewood, Texas. She and her husband Tommy take care of the livestock and general farm work. Alice's new role didn't occur to me until the fourth draft. I happened to stumble across the first draft the other day. Man, has it changed! The above image is AI generated. I've mentioned before that I have generated AI images of all the main characters so I can look at them when they are in a scene. I intentionally generated Alice in black and white. What would Alice say in response to one of JR's wiseguy comments. How would she say it? You might be surprised by Alice in the new book. I hope so.
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You Can't Be Serious6/1/2024 
Imagine transforming a dire, apocalyptic threat into one of the greatest dark comedies of all time. That's exactly what Stanley Kubrick did with Dr. Strangelove. In 1962, Kubrick purchased the rights to "Red Alert", a gripping novel about nuclear war. But as he delved into the script, he saw absurdity in the seriousness, deciding that only satire could truly capture the madness of mutually assured destruction. Kubrick, known for his dictatorial perfectionism, realized that a serious take on the nuclear threat wouldn't do it justice. With a co-writer, he crafted what would become his only comedy: Dr. Strangelove. It's not just a comedy—it's a dark comedy that continues to captivate audiences. You can watch it now on Netflix. I'm not the only fan--and besides, I have the DVD. Several serious movies on the same theme from that era turned out to be tedious melodramas, forgotten over time. In contrast, Dr. Strangelove remains a classic. I first saw it as a 12-year-old, and it left an indelible mark on me. One of its lines, "Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!" perfectly encapsulates the absurdity of nuclear war’s bureaucratic nature. This line, and others like it, distill the film's message more powerfully than hours of conventional drama. The fact that I was captivated by Dr. Strangelove while my classmates were regaling in Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd should tell you something about me. Years later I took a date to a re-release of the movie. On the way home she told me that we should see other people. Kubrick’s film shows that there’s a place for dark humor, a sentiment that meshes with my writing philosophy. As an author, I’ve been fortunate to receive mentorship from seasoned writers. One mentor, reflecting on my work, highlighted the common thread of dark humor. Their advice was clear: "Keep doing that. You're not going to be James Patterson, or Dan Brown or Robert Ludlum. Be you." What are your favorite dark comedies, and why do they resonate with you? Email me at; [email protected]. Just as Kubrick found his unique voice through dark comedy, I strive to keep my writing in the same spirit. If you appreciate this approach, check out my books. Support dark humor and enjoy a good laugh while looking at life’s absurdities. In a world often filled with chaos, dark humor offers a unique lens through which we can understand our reality. Dr. Strangelove is an example of this power. So, find the humor in the dark, and remember—sometimes, laughter is the best way to get a message across. |
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