AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: sincerejimmy942@gmail.com Archives
April 2024
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How's that for Click Bait?
Spoiler Alert: It's Me. People Hate The Ending of My New Book. So I'm Taking It Down. That's means I've taken it off Amazon for now. I'm rewriting the ending. It seemed funny, but when I saw it in writing I cringed. My friends have told me they love the book, but hate the ending. It's crude, rude and inappropriate. It's like having spinach stuck to your teeth. Only your friends will tell you. The people who don't like you will let you walk around all day like that. So my apologies. If you bought the book, let me know, and I'll figure out a way to get you a replacement. The good news is with a few clicks the book is no longer for sale, and won't be again until I republish the revised book. Now for my weekly message: The photo was sent to me this week from a long lost relative. I hadn't spoken to her for---maybe 60 years. She found me through my books. That's one of the great things about what I'm doing. I've heard from people from way back, including my Jr. High basketball coach. He told me he always knew I'd make something of myself, just not as a basketball player. And I've made lots of new friends. From around the world. As Jim MacKay used to say on the Wide World of Sports: Spanning the Globe! People have asked which books of mine would make the best stocking stuffers. If the recipient is interested in golf, I recommend The 10 Greatest Golfers of All Time. It's the most vanilla of my books. Other golf book: Hit Your Second Shot First is my best seller to date, but a bit more sarcastic, so know your audience. If your recipient is not into golf, try Losing Lola, the first JR Johnson book. It's on sale. I've been asked who should play Lola in the movie, but never had an answer until now. How about this: Taylor Swift? She'd be perfect. If you've read the book, can you imagine Taylor Swift as Lola walking into the gala at the Met? But Tay-Tay hasn't been returning my calls. I hear she's been busy. Next week I'll let you know how the revised version is coming. I'll make any reasonable grievances right..
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Jimmy Sizemore says that if he sees one more Self-Help book cover like the one above, he's gonna puke.
There are at least 85,000 Self-Help titles on Amazon. Why do we need another one? Because the first 85,000 are not working. The Circle of Awareness, by Jimmy Sizemore as told to Jim Flynn, takes on the Self-Help Industrial Complex before revealing Sizemore's unique and outrageous recipe for a successful life. an excerpt for an early review by Karen Corrine Herceg: Flynn has the secret ingredient: a quick, incisive humor that not only elicits outright laughter but provides insights at the same time. It causes light bulbs to go on in our heads once we get the joke. Flynn’s latest book (he has several that shouldn’t be missed and can be found on Amazon) pokes fun at the self-help brand and industry while making some very good points. Karen Corinne Herceg writes poetry, prose, essays, interviews, and reviews. Her second book of poetry, Out From Calaboose, was released in 2017. She lives in France. The Circle of Awareness is available. Get it today! Link: www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMXB5NQK
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Jimmy Sizemore Bounces Back11/18/2023 Some of you may remember Jimmy Sizemore.
In Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It, Jimmy told his life story to date. Born to a wealthy but dysfunctional family, Jimmy played in the NFL, became an astrophysicist, an Apollo astronaut, and was the low amateur in The Masters Tournament among other accomplishments. Jimmy lives in an ultra modern but modest sized mansion on the beach in Kona, Hawaii. Among his possessions: the Corvette convertible he was awarded as Super Bowl MVP. Jimmy's second book: The Circle of Awareness is being released Sunday, November 26th, 2023. As Amazon specifies, the exact release is Midnight, GMT on that date, so those of you in London can buy it then. It's a send up of Self-Help books, and the conclusion is Jimmy's unique self-help advice, which he calls The Circle of Awareness. From the Foreword: "Did you ever think, if I see one more Self-Help book cover with a guy on a mountain top, reaching for the sky, I'm gonna puke? If so, this book is for you." The book in Kindle format can be preordered now. Link: www.Amazon.com/dp/B0CLL21CXV More information about ordering the paperback next week.
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Smile! Or Else!11/9/2023 Did you know that the first Self-Help book was written in 1859 by a humorless Victorian gent named Samuel Smiles? The title: Self-Help. No kidding.
The book was a big success, and kicked off what is now an $11 billion industry. This, and other facts are uncovered in the soon to be released The Circle of Awareness, which is listed as: By Jimmy Sizemore, as told to Jim Flynn. In the book: Jimmy Sizemore is talked into writing a parody of the Self-Help world by his agent, who desperately needs money to pay the college tuitions of her two children. Jimmy agrees to write the book, but only if he is allowed to conclude it with his philosophy of life, which he refers to as the Circle of Awareness. As Jimmy tells readers, "This book will be short, modestly priced, the greatest value of any purchase you have ever made, or ever will make. It will change your life. Probably." The scheduled release date: November 26, 2023. Mark it on your calendar. More details next week.
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This is state-of-the-art computer storage in 1962, I'm not going to bore you with words that begin with mega or giga, I'll just say that your cellphone has way more storage than this monstrosity, and can access the information thousands of times faster. And your phone is connected to the Internet. The machine above was connected to nothing.
So what? It's speed and connectivity that make AI work. Computer scientists thought of Artificial Intelligence a long time ago, it's just that the computers were too slow, and didn't have access to the entire world's information to make AI useful. AI is changing the world of books and writing. Amazon recently clarified its policy on submissions of books written by Artificial Intelligence. In an attempt to regulate the flood of submissions, Amazon will accept ONLY three books a day from an author! This is true, I am not making this up. Who do you think can write three books a day? Go on YouTube. There are lots of videos that show you how to write a novel in minutes. More accurately, it shows you how to direct AI how to write the novel. You don't even have to come up with the idea, AI will suggest plot outlines. Warren Buffett famously said: When you see a line, don't get in it. This means when everybody is already doing the same thing, it's too late. To be successful, you have to do something different. There are at least 85,000 Self-Help books. The Circle of Awareness is, The Funniest, Most Outrageous Self-Help book of all-time. It is different. The Circle of Awareness, coming soon.
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Careful How You Dress for the Zoo10/20/2023 Never make the mistake of wearing an orange shirt to Home Depot.
Don’t-it’s like dressing up as an elephant and going to the zoo. I did it once. I was on the way home from playing golf. Had on my lucky orange golf shirt. It didn’t matter that I had on shorts, sunglasses, and a golf visor. I was wearing orange. This guy gets in my face. “Do you work here?” he demands. And did not wait for an answer—I was wearing orange- I was a target of opportunity. “Where are the pipe stem extenders?” The right way to answer? Being the thoughtful, tolerant, helpful guy I am, and since we were standing in the front of aisle two, “Aisle 18—all the way in the back, by the loading dock” I said. The guy mutters, “What’s wrong with this place? I can never find anybody to help me around here” “You still haven’t” “What?” “Aisle 18, way in the back.” What does that have to do with anything? Because that guy is Unaware. And I’m an expert at judging who’s Aware and who’s Unaware. Aware of what? I wrote the book on it. The Circle of Awareness. And you’re gonna have to read the book to find out. Coming Soon.
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Ideas from Outer Space10/13/2023 People often inquire about the mysterious origins of my ideas. Well, I'm here to reveal my secret source: Outer Space. Not really. Now, you might be wondering about the peculiar image above. No, it's not me in my backyard with a makeshift antenna trying to intercept cosmic inspiration. That's actually a snapshot of yours truly at the awe-inspiring Very Large Array (VLA) in the heart of New Mexico. If you're even remotely fascinated by the mysteries of the cosmos, this place is a must-visit. Imagine 28 colossal radio telescopes, each capable of capturing the whispers of the universe, all sprawled across the vast desert landscape. It's a humbling reminder that America extends far beyond the bustling I-95 corridor. Interestingly, the VLA has also played a role in the world of cinema. One of its star-studded appearances was in the film "Contact," starring the brilliant Jodie Foster. And speaking of stars, Ms. Foster herself lends her voice to the excellent film at the visitor center at the site. Oh, and by the way, I couldn't resist picking up three souvenir guitar picks there. Not your everyday find at most visitor centers, I must say! Now, if you're curious about how to embark on your own VLA adventure, here's the scoop. First, hop on a plane to Albuquerque. Then, brace yourself for a drive to the Middle of Nowhere, followed by an expedition to the Middle of The Middle of Nowhere. The reason for this remote location? To steer clear of any pesky radio signals that could disrupt the telescopes' delicate work. As for the inspiration behind this photo, it ties in with my current project, The Circle of Awareness. It's a hilarious take on self-help books, where some individuals believe they're sending out waves to the Universe and receiving cosmic responses in return. It's written by Jimmy Sizemore, as told to Jim Flynn. Some of you remember Jimmy from Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. Stay tuned, because The Circle of Awareness is headed your way soon, ready to take you on a comical journey through the cosmos of self-improvement! And the conclusion has Jimmy's all time wildest Self-Help solution.
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A Matter of Perspective10/7/2023 Look at the fish that I caught!
On closer inspection it's an action figure holding a small fish. It reminded me of something I see every day. I get emails from marketing savants who want to charge writers a fee for helping them with selling their books. It feels like every time you turn around there's another marketing guru ready to share their wisdom. One of the things the marketers are always pitching is to put your book in an obscure niche category on Amazon so it will be the big fish in a mud puddle. They call this a "Marketing Hack." I'm tired of Hacks. It's a lazy idea that millennials use. Remember when people took pride in originality? How about writing an interesting book that a lot of people want to read? And you millennials stay off my lawn! I'm working on: The Circle of Awareness. Coming soon to a big pond near you.
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General Store for Sale-Price Reduced9/30/2023 General Stores used to be thriving businesses in America. Then there were supermarkets, then big box stores, now there's Amazon.
What happened? Wall Street likes to talk about Disruptive Technologies.. What does that mean? Disruptive technologies refer to innovations that drastically alter or replace existing products, services, or concepts, rendering traditional methods obsolete. These technologies are characterized by their rapid growth and widespread adoption, often leading to a paradigm shift in the market landscape. Disruptive technologies often stem from unconventional thinking and are successful because they address unmet needs or inefficiencies in the market in novel ways. They offer superior performance, accessibility, or cost-effectiveness, attracting a large user base and prompting a shift in consumer behavior. As these technologies gain traction, established entities either adapt and integrate the innovations or face decline. Disruptive technologies can foster competitive advantage, unlock new market segments, and drive economic growth and societal advancement when effectively harnessed and implemented. The previous paragraph was written by a disruptive technology: Chat GPT. I gave Chat GPT the following instruction: You are a Wall Street technology analyst. Write a paragraph defining Disruptive Technologies and explain why they are so effective. I am encouraging people to learn AI, even if they just want to know what's coming. Or you can just be the owner of the above pictured General Store. Be on the Lookout: The Circle of Awareness is coming soon. . |