Watch This. I Know What I'm Doing!

"Watch This, I know what I'm doing."

This Thanksgiving Day a man in affluent suburb Weston, CT. managed to burn his home to the ground while attempting to deep fry a turkey in the garage. In all the news reports this edifice was described not as a house, but specifically as a "mansion," so that's a feather in his cap. He burned down a whole mansion.

No one was hurt, the family got out safely.

Not all the details have been released, but you know, YOU JUST KNOW, that at some point, mere minutes before calling the Volunteer Fire Department, the pyrotechnic culinary genius, in an irritated voice, said to his wife:

"Watch This. I know what I'm doing!"

How can I be so certain?

1) I'm a guy.

2) Exhibit A:
When I moved from the 'burbs to my 29 acre farm I bought a four wheel drive ATV which I use like a small tractor, complete with snowplow attached. Still have the little workhorse. 

That spring it was time for an oil change and tune-up, I bought ramps so I could drive the ATV into the bed of my pickup truck to take it to the dealer. I was certain it would fit, but I hadn't removed the attached snowplow. 

My wife expressed her concerns.

Irritated, I said, "Watch This. I know what I'm doing!"

You have to drive fast to get up the ATV up the ramps. So I sped the ATV onto the bed of the pickup, the plow smashing the truck's rear window into an estimated 450 million pieces. The noise was shockingly loud.

Eventually I had to look over at my wife. I was getting the vibe that she was thinking: I could have done so much better than marrying this idiot.

She might have been thinking an even harsher word.

I'm now doing research. Is saying, "Watch This, I know what I'm doing," strictly a guy thing? Is it something primitive man said in the hunter/gatherer stage of development? What are the causes? What are the sociological implications?

Don't tell anybody this, let's keep it between us, because I'm using this as the basis of a chapter I'm writing for my new book, working title: Watch This, I Know What I'm Doing.

Meanwhile, still looking for a holiday gift for less important people on your list?
Please consider:

go today to buy on Amazon:
www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB
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