The Gatsby Emoji

Let’s talk banned books.

Some parents are losing their minds over which books their kids are supposed to read in high school—like The Great Gatsby.

I want to ask these people: Have you met your kid?

These kids don’t have the attention span to watch a TikTok for more than ten seconds.
I suggest parents worry about something more realistic—like whether AI is going to wipe us all out in three years.

But nope. They’re focused on banning books.

And I’m not making this up: Professors at elite colleges say they can’t assign entire books anymore. Why? Because these students have never actually read a full book. Don’t believe me? Google it.

What’s next—SATs in emoji?

“Well, we wouldn’t want to crush the self-esteem of these future titans of industry.”

How about this for a PhD thesis in history:
Translate the first line of the Declaration of Independence into emojis.
Got it? Great.
Extra credit: Color them in.

Hey, when I was in high school, I had to pretend to read all the classics: The Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby, A Tale of Two Cities, Ethan Frome, The Scarlet Letter.

And look how well-adjusted I turned out.

Okay—maybe that’s pushing it. Let’s just say that as of the publication of this post, I’ve never been convicted of a felony.

I cover these and other crucial issues in my new book.

I’m not revealing the title yet. Suspense!

But I will say this:

It’s the biggest paradigm shift in literature and entertainment since Beowulf.

Granted, I don’t really know what “paradigm” means. And I’ve never actually read Beowulf. I wrote that for the back cover—marketing!

In the meantime, please consider this bestselling gift book:
[click on this link]

www.amazon.com/dp/B09CGMTCBQ