Murdering a Song in the Key of T

I’ve been walking around for seventy-plus years thinking a teetotaler was someone who swapped whiskey for a steaming mug of Earl Grey. “Tea-totaler.” Made sense. They don’t drink booze; they drink tea. Simple. Logical. Completely wrong.

I used the word in the new book I’m writing, and spellcheck corrected it...took out “tea” and replaced it with “tee.”

Turns out, the word has nothing to do with tea and everything to do with one emphatic Brit with a stammer.

Back in the 1830s, the temperance movement was trying to get people to quit drinking. Not just cut back. Not just stop before participants forgot their friends were recording them on Karaoke night, and the results might live forever on the internet. Quit entirely. A British guy named Richard Turner gave a speech about taking the “Total Abstinence” pledge and, while hammering the point home, apparently said, “T-T-Total.” The double T stuck. People began calling themselves “Tee-Totalers,” meaning totally total about sobriety.

So the “tee” is just a letter — not a beverage. The original teetotalers weren’t clutching teacups; they were white-knuckling it through Victorian happy hours saying no to everything fermented. BTW, Queen Victoria sipped sherry on occasion, allegedly for medicinal purposes.

I feel slightly betrayed. English loves to lure you into false confidence — “tea kettle,” “tea party,” “tea-totaler” — and then laugh behind your back when you’re wrong. Next thing you know, I’ll find out “hamburger” doesn’t have ham in it. Oh well.

Anyway, if you’ve been mentally picturing genteel sober people sipping Constant Comment, you’re not alone. The truth is more boring and somehow funnier. Booze is a double edged sword...I’ve yet to see a promotion for Teetotaler Karaoke Night.
 
Who says being a writer doesn’t broaden your knowledge? And in the last few minutes I leaned to spell Karaoke!
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BOLO---Be On The Lookout for: Code Name: Nobody.