I Just Actually Really Don't Need That

After my first book came out, two readers mailed me The Elements of Style by Strunk and White. No note. No inscription. Just the book—twice. I think they were trying to help. Or stage an intervention. Hard to say.

Now—I’ve always thought most of Strunk & White is high-school-English-teacher baloney. A book for people who know all the rules but majored in Boredom at NyQuil University. But they did get one thing right:

Omit Needless Words.

Perfect advice. Short, punchy, judgmental—exactly how I like my guidance. And since I’ve learned the job of Chapter One is to make the reader want to read Chapter Two, “short and punchy” might keep them from dropping the book and wandering off to TikTok to watch a cat ride a Roomba.

Now, the top of the chart Needless Word offenders? I have a personal Mount Rushmore:

That. Just. Really. Actually.

Plus a whole family reunion of “-ly” words nobody invited.

Here’s how bad it gets:

While editing my current book, I searched for the word that. In a 96,000-word manuscript, it appeared 917 times. You can’t eliminate all of them—some are necessary—but I cut over 500. 

JUST is worse. It’s a crutch word. The writing equivalent of saying “you know” in conversation because your brain took a break while your mouth kept talking.

And if Strunk & White were here, they’d nod approvingly…before giving me a D- because I end sentences with a preposition. Oh well, six years at NyQuil University, right down the drain.

If your high school English teacher ever wrote a best seller, or if you have any other reason to contact me please click on this link:

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