Batman vs. Homer

There’s a new trend in filmmaking: the movie is as long as the actual event.

I just saw The Odyssey. Odysseus was gone from home for twenty years—ten years fighting the Trojan War and another ten trying to get back.

As I watched the movie, I began to suspect Christopher Nolan had shot it in real time.

I defy anyone to make even the $20 Super Tub of popcorn last through the whole thing.

Every review seemed to begin the same way:
Another Christopher Nolan masterpiece.

After that, the critics differed only on which aspect of the masterpieceness was the most masterpiecish.

Don’t get me wrong. Christopher Nolan is a gifted man. Oppenheimer was great.

But I do hold this against him:
The guy has made three—yes, three—Batman movies.

I hate Batman.

I know it’s irrational to hate a fictional character, but I hate Batman.

I am no longer going to spend three hours watching Bruce Wayne (spoiler: he's secretly Batman) in the same dark, dark, depressing movie.

He’s a rich guy with really cool toys who always wins and never has any fun.

His character arc is: brooding, followed by violence, followed by additional brooding.

Hey, Batman: Take up pickleball. Buy a dog. You’re a billionaire. Try to meet some nice girls. The money should help.

Back to The Odyssey.
If you’ve tried to learn anything about writing in the last fifty years, you haven’t been able to avoid a concept called The Hero’s Journey.

A professor named Joseph Campbell wrote a book called The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

I recommend reading the book if you suffer from severe insomnia. Otherwise, ask ChatGPT for a summary.

If you’re too lazy to do that, here it is:

The hero leaves home. Bad things happen. The hero returns changed.

The Odyssey is one of the original blueprints.

George Lucas read Joseph Campbell's book and made Star Wars.

Hollywood, which values artistic integrity—money—above everything else, saw the box office for Star Wars and lost its mind. Ever since, screenwriting professors have found the Hero’s Journey in every successful story, whether it’s actually there or not.

Agatha Christie didn’t write Hero’s Journeys.

Hercule Poirot doesn’t enter a strange new world and return transformed. He questions twelve unpleasant rich people, identifies the murderer, and remains exactly as irritating as he was at the beginning.

I watched The Odyssey looking for the familiar beats of the Hero’s Journey.

They were there. After all, it helped invent them.
Was the movie too long?

For me, yes. But I’m not the target audience.

It was a superb superhero movie. And Odysseus, played by Matt Damon, actually smiled occasionally.

That puts him ahead of Batman.

My new thriller, Baker Baker, is coming soon.

JR Johnson doesn’t take a Hero’s Journey. He follows the money.
Several people are trying to kill him.

JR thinks all these people trying to get him is fun. I think you'll have fun too.

No intermission required.