Are We Happy Yet?

 I stumbled across the following real fact the other day while researching: According to the latest data, Americans are now less happy than at any point in history. Yes, even less happy than during the Great Depression, the Cuban Missile Crisis, or when President Jimmy Carter wore a cardigan sweater to tell the country we suffered from "malaise."

At the time, I thought malaise was something you put on a sandwich. I wasn't yet the worldly, sophisticated  gent you are now familiar with.

Happiness numbers had been falling since the early 1990s, but fell off the table around 2009, and have declined every year since. 

At first I thought the cause must have been the Great Recession---remember, when all the banks were going broke. Nope.

As you recall, we recovered from that crisis by borrowing the printing press from Zimbabwe and printing up trillions of dollars, which we, myself included, now all foolishly think are worth something. And some wingnut criminals...I mean far sighted futurist thinkers...invented cryptocurrency, which is like real money, but totally imaginary. What could go wrong? We're okay in the money department for now.

No, what happened in 2009 was the introduction of the iPhone.

I can hear you protesting..."Wait... I had a cellphone before that!"

Yes, we did. We used the cellphone to make phone calls. How primitive! You make me laugh. Really, why talk to boring people when I can watch dogs surfing on my iPhone?

According to the research I referenced, the smartphone has been the biggest force to isolate people in history. It's isolated more people than the Bubonic Plague! The cartoon above is a sight you can see every day. 

This theme is something I discuss in my next book, which I hope you find funny.

I won't go on and on, but let me lay this fact on you: people still crave human interaction, but they want perfect fantasy interaction...not with somebody who wants you to do the dishes once in a while and hogs all the blankets... and people want a companion who is ready at a moment's notice for any activity.

True example: An app that allows real-time...ummm...intimate...interactive discussion with a woman's voice came out a couple months ago. It costs a dollar a minute to talk to this AI generated woman. This robo-female apparently has no inhibitions, and has not yet been reported to demand  that any user do the dishes. The first week this app went live it generated $70,000 in revenue! And it''s gone up every week since then.

I didn't try it, but my friend Bob told me about it.

I'm not going to give you the name of this app, and I certainly will not give you the link...I don't want to lose 100% of my male readership at this moment.

Anyhow...back to literary matters. If you haven't done so, please cruise on over to Amazon and take a look at my latest book, Dead Men Don't Cash Checks.

please click on this link:

www.amazon.com/dp/B0F3TT394W​