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Blog of Jim Flynn
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AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
January 2026
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Stop The Presses!12/27/2025  Amazon doesn't really use presses. It's more like laser printer technology, but you get the idea, right? I had finished Press The Button, and was making the finishing touches for a January 4th release. I put it aside for a couple days then read it. It's funny...but I'm not sure it works as a book. I have a paid marketing consultant who I talk to once a year. She gave me an idea six years ago that made me five figures, so I pay attention to her. She reviewed Press The Button, and after a discussion we agreed: it's written to be spoken, like stand up comedy. Or read in short bursts. I have loyal readers who get every book, and I didn't want to burn them out to the point of exhaustion, especially when I have a new JR Johnson novel coming out in March. That's a real book, the one I want people to focus on. So here's the new plan: I'm serializing Press The Button here on my weekly blog posts. At the same time I'm starting a YouTube channel on which I read chapters of Press The Button. We'll see how it goes. If there's demand, maybe I'll publish a paperback and do an audiobook. I hope this project entertains people who've been with me all this time, and introduces my style to new people. The message: I write novels too. Darker. Same voice. More bodies hitting the floor. Below is an excerpt from Press The Button. It's not the very beginning. I'm going to jump around the book. ********************************************************************** So here’s the deal. I’ve got decades of material-- books, blog posts, half-finished ideas, and jokes I wrote on napkins… during mandatory workplace sensitivity training. Which—full disclosure—I did not pass. I’m not dumping all of it in here. You’re only getting the best parts. The A-sides. The stuff that actually made people laugh-- or shoot iced tea out their nose. Each bit stands on its own. And honestly… you won’t remember most of it anyway. Because you, dear listener, now have the attention span of a salamander. And not the smart salamanders either. I'm talking the ones who can't figure out which end is the front. 
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Alex Trebek Made Fun of Me12/20/2025  The new book is titled: Press the Button: Alex Trebek Made Fun of Me and Other Things That Will Make You Laugh, and it is scheduled for release January 4th, 2026. An audiobook will follow. When? Unclear. There are several technical hurdles, most of which involve me. We are also planning several glowing blurbs from famous writers on the back cover, for example: "The best humour since Hamlet"--W. Shakespeare, Dramatist I didn't say the blurbs were true. From the book: This isn’t my first attempt at a big scheme. There have been a few. One of my early attempts ended in total humiliation—in front of millions of people. I once went on Jeopardy! Don’t get excited—I lost. I blew Final Jeopardy, bet it all, ended with zero... and Alex Trebek went out of his way to make fun of my answer. Don't get me started on Trebek. He acted like he knew all the answers. Nope. He was just Bob Barker with harder questions. As for the audiobook, I'll be the narrator. This has presented its own challenges. Another quote from the book: I thought I had the voice of Morgan Freeman. Then I put on studio headphones. You ever do that? Turns out I sound like a man held hostage inside a Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru speaker. I try to make up for any vocal failings with two techniques: 1-Enthusiasm and, 2- Ignoring what I sound like. Keep Calm and Carry On. More details in coming weeks. Comments or questions to: [email protected] 
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She Wished She Ordered from CVS12/13/2025  On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied were you with the delivery? A woman in Hopkinsville, Kentucky patiently waited for her urgent medication delivery. Instead, she got two arms and four fingers on ice — yes, literal human body parts. The package originated in Nashville and was intended for a medical-training facility (not for transplant), but the courier screw-up swapped it with her meds. Local coroner Scott Daniel had originated the shipment of the body parts and told the woman to not refrigerate them, not touch them more than necessary, and call authorities immediately. Safe advice. The woman eventually got her correct medication the next day. The body part package was rerouted to where it was meant to be. And you thought waiting in line at CVS behind the woman getting 14 prescriptions for multiple family members was bad. The above is true, but it is a filler article in place of what was going to be a massive announcement...well...an announcement about an upcoming project. But major decisions are still being tested with an expert human panel of...people...a couple of guys. Maybe next week the announcement will come. questions or comments to: [email protected] 
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Cary Grant vs. CryptoWarrior12/1/2025  Why Hollywood Escapism Has Migrated to Your Telephone Once upon a time, Hollywood handled all our escapism needs. You walked into to a theater, your feet stuck to the floor due to the years of accumulated Jujubees, you plopped down in the seat and watched Frankie Avalon pretend to surf in front of a rear projection. But now? Every bit of fantasy, delusion, glamour, and ridiculous plotline has migrated to your telephone. Your phone. That slab of glass you keep dropping in the toilet. Congratulations—you are now the studio head of your own personal MGM. Which explains the budget cuts. Instead of Cary Grant whisking you to dangle off Mount Rushmore, you get a guy named “CryptoWarrior409” on TikTok explaining wealth creation while standing in front of a rented Lamborghini. At least Cary drank real martinis; Crypto Warrior interrupts himself mid-video to pitch his sponsor, a workout powder made from depleted uranium. And those old beach movies? Shapely Annette in her post Mouseketeer phase? Now you’ve got influencers standing on paddleboards, filming themselves while shouting, “LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!" The consequences? Oh, they’re hilarious. You can no longer watch a movie without thinking, “Why isn’t this 12 seconds long?” Meanwhile, your attention span has shrunk to the size of an olive pit, and you feel cheated if a plot doesn’t involve a cat, a drone shot, or someone making avocado toast. The old Hollywood moguls got to be millionaires. But the guys behind the instant gratification in your pocket...I'm talking about the techno dorks who own the platform, not CyrptoWarrior409...are billionaires, some approaching trillionaire status. Makes you think...maybe you should have paid attention in Algebra One. Or taken a computer programming class in college, instead of the easy three credits of Art Appreciation. Hollywood took us away from reality for a couple hours. Then we left the theater, out of the air conditioning, back to humidity and real life. The difference? Our little pocket studios give us a tiny on-demand dopamine hit every time we tap it. And there's no obvious charge, no ticket taking usher. The billionaires know this...they've got us. The only charge? Guys like Tim, Mark, Elon, and Jeff now own us, body and soul. And wallet...that's the part they're interested in. Don't believe me? Go ahead. Go without your phone for two days. Jim, are you crazy! I could miss an emergency phone call! Okay, don't go cold turkey. How about this: Just use your phone as only a phone for a week. Honestly? I kind of miss Cary Grant. But at least my phone fits in my pocket, the popcorn is considerably cheaper, and I don't have to scrape Jujubees off the bottom of my shoes. Discussion question: have you ever eaten Jujubees not in a movie theater? Querstions or Comments? Just click on this link: [email protected]  |
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