AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
November 2024
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Slow Day in Paris11/30/2024   Above: Recent photo-I was hawking my book at a stall on the Left Bank in Paris Anybody want to buy a book? My kids are hungry, and frankly, so is Mrs. Author. Here’s the deal: book sales tank during the week of a holiday. I learned this the hard way with my first book. Sales were cruising along nicely until Christmas week, when they flatlined so hard I thought Amazon had just… forgotten I existed. I actually called them and asked if the store was broken. Turns out, no. People just stop buying books and start panic-shopping for whatever lights up or makes noise. Also, some of you may be shocked by how much I've aged. It's the pressure combined with...well, that's not a photo of my good side. Lately, I’ve been making the rounds on podcasts. I don’t post all of them because, honestly, some hosts are like “What Would Joe Rogan Do?” and drop so many F-bombs! They've got the swearing down, but they ain't Joe Rogan, and I'd be embarrassed to send out the podcasts. But here’s one I actually enjoyed—a lovely chat with a nice lady from Missouri: click to listen and/or watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGD-ge2Gdec&t=154s Now, if you’re staring at your holiday shopping list wondering what to get the person who has everything (except good taste in books), grab them a copy—or five—of You Look Good For Your Age. Because who doesn’t want to feel simultaneously flattered and insulted this holiday season? Click below now to go to Amazon and solve your gift giving problems:: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB
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Want Pie? Not So Fast!11/23/2024  In a previous post I mentioned that I am now recording the audiobook version of You Look Good For Your Age. It's a task that will take a while. But as I perform the material out loud, I find myself making up new jokes. Most of the book is the same, but the beginning is different. So, for the benefit of people who already read the book, here's the new opening: So... I’ve written eight books. Eight books! A couple of them did okay, they were Amazon bestsellers for a while---for about as long as it takes to cook a hardboiled egg. But they made the list. On the other end of the spectrum? One of the other books didn’t sell much—only my family read it. Well, claims to have read it. They think they’re being nice, but fake support feels worse than no support at all. I did get one review from a family member that said, ‘This book is riveting.’ I was touched... until I found out the kid copied it from a book about metalworking. One time we got together and called them out. I was like, “You’re a bunch of creeps! You liars!” Kind of ruined that Thanksgiving. Have you ever belonged to a very intense book club—where half the people never read the book? It was like that. I’ve fixed my problem though. Now, every family Thanksgiving before each person can have a piece of pie, I give them quizzes. Actual written quizzes on key passages. It’s like Thanksgiving meets high school English class—with more at stake—I’m strict—You flunk the test---"you sit there and watch while everybody else eats their pie. You on a diet, or are you gonna read the book next time?” A bit different. The good news for the people who have read the book? Or anyone who reads the book? When the audio version is done, if you are on Audible, I will send you a free audiobook copy. All I ask is that you review it. The only requirement? Are going to write a good review? If you want to say it stinks, keep it to yourself. It's going to take a while. As some actor said, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard," and it's been quite some time since my formal acting training at the Royal Shakespeare Company, and the Yale Drama School. I later studied at more budget friendly but now defunct K-Mart Blue Light Special Academy of Performing Arts. Anyhow, need a holiday gift for someone you don't want to spend much money on? click the link to buy on Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB  Questions or comments to:
[email protected]
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Lois Visits the Farm11/16/2024  I moved way out in the country over twenty years ago. We have lots of varieties of insects that I didn't see growing up in the suburbs. Many of the bugs are way bigger than I was used to seeing. As far as I know, my farm was never the site for any nuclear testing, but we do have huge mutant ants. When we first moved in our friend Lois Lane visited. Like many of our suburban friends she dressed inappropriately for the farm tour. When she became detached from our group, I heard the approach of scuttling legs, and turned to see her being attacked by one of the freakish ants. Fortunately, I had just purchased a flame thrower from Tractor Supply. It was on sale and you never know when you might need one. Using the handy weapon I was able to roast the attacker, but it was a close call. Lois Lane was unhurt but badly shaken, and still wearing her pearls rapidly tossed down several shots of Jack Daniels to steady her nerves, but being a lady, she did not remove her hat. Lois's experience has led us to caution women about wearing high heels on the farm. IMPORTANT NOTICE: The facts in the above account have not been independently verified. I figured you could use some laughs. Or maybe a friend of yours could? If so, you might also want to read the laugh out loud You Look Good For Your Age. Click the link now to buy on Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB 
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Better Than a Therapy Dog!11/9/2024  A couple topics brought up by readers: First: A reader emailed that anxiety brought on by the election caused him to not watch his usual CNBC stock market programs. Instead he turned off the TV and re-read the last five chapters of You Look Good for Your Age. He reported feeling better about the world in general. I am not making that up. In response I replied that experts everywhere are saying that reading You Look Good For Your Age is even better for people than having an emotional support animal. For more therapeutic results: read all the chapters! Second: Last week I explained that I am narrating my own audiobook version of You Look Good For Your Age. Another reader who will be unnamed (well, as long as you insist, it was Charlene) wrote that I would have a tough time doing that because I tend to laugh at my own jokes. I explained that as a highly disciplined professional I can generally stop laughing at my own jokes by the ninth or tenth take, and eventually I will be able to produce a finished audiobook. If you don't have a copy if You Look Good For Your Age, what are you waiting for? Hurry up, the earth might get hit by an asteroid any day now, and how would you feel if you look up at a gigantic object streaking through the sky and realized that you haven't read the book? I'm only thinking about the best interests of the General Reading Public. Order now! click on the link below to go to Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB  Questions or comments to:
[email protected]
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That Can't Be Me!11/2/2024  I'm in the process of recording the audiobook version of You Look Good For Your Age. Recording an audiobook is easy, if you're a robot and have no sense of shame. Unfortunately I'm neither. For one thing, you have to get used to the sound of your own voice. I was confident that I would have a deep resonance like Morgan Freeman, but when I play it back the imposter saying my words sounds more like Homer Simpson. Must be the headphones! The main current issue is: The audiobook must be a word-for-word version of the written book. Audible spot checks and will reject a book if it doesn't match. But since this book is a series of standup comedy acts, I memorize each one, then perform it as though I was standing up in front of a group of people. Even though it's the same material, I speak differently than I write, so it comes out more casual and conversational. I also find myself ad-libbing new jokes. To solve this problem, I'll have to revise the written book when I've recorded the final version of the audiobook. Fortunately, it's easy to upload a new version of the written book to Amazon. By the way, if you've had a problem locating your keys lately, try memorizing 10 different 1,000 word comedy bits. After memorizing the first two bits, I found my car keys! Coincidence? I think not. After the memorization I then must perform the material without sounding like I'm reading, using my Lawrence Olivier-like acting techniques. Larry (we were on a first name basis) and I always wanted to do an audiobook together, but his death in 1989 has prevented him from working on this book with me. There's no business like show business. It's the headphones, right? Order the book today! Paperback only $5.99--use as a birthday card! Get it now before my inner Homer rewrites the entire book. click on the link: www.amazon.com/dp/B0DK3NDRNB  And comments or questions? Email:
[email protected] |
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