AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
October 2024
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 No spoiler here, but you'll understand the headline and its relation to the above image image better when you read: You Look Good For Your Age.
I'm taking a break from finishing my next novel. Along the way I've been able to have a couple of unofficial mentors, both New York Times best selling authors. They encouraged me after reading Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It, and have been generous with their time and suggestions since. A man and a woman, they don't know each other, live on different continents, and both have suggested to me that I try stand up comedy. I ignored their advice and pressed on. As I was writing the new novel, I sent a chapter to ChatGPT. Not to write it, but to read it and give developmental editing suggestions. Artificial Intelligence is fantastic once you get past the stupid-college-kid-using-it-to write-your-term-paper level. When you learn how to use AI, it's like having a conversation with a very smart person who never gets tired of your questions. I kid you not; this really happened: ChatGPT read my chapter and replied, "Have you ever considered doing standup comedy?" Who am I to defy an all knowing algorithm? So I am about finished with You Look Good For Your Age, a series of unrelated comedy chapters. You will laugh--if not, feel free to send me a nasty email. But, trust me, you'll laugh. You Look Good For Your Age is coming soon. By the way, that's a pretty sharp jacket the accordion player is wearing, eh? I'm thinking about adding one to my wardrobe. comments to: [email protected]
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Was this sign on my book?9/19/2024  I’ve written eight books. A couple did okay. But one book, only my family read—and I’m pretty sure they lied about that. And I have a small family.
I got them together and called them out on it. “You’re a bunch of turncoats! Ingrates, ” I said. Kind of ruined Thanksgiving. But I keep them honest now. I give them written quizzes on key passages, like high school—or a very intense book club. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The above is the introduction to the new book I'm publishing soon: You Look Good For Your Age. I'm still working on my fourth novel, The Dead Banker's Password, but it isn't ready yet. Taking a break from the novel is helping me. When I get back to The Dead Banker, I'll be ready to push through to the finish. More on You Look Good For Your Age soon. Comments: [email protected]
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 I see a big time famous motivational guy is going to be in the New York area soon. For just $2,985 you can get a Diamond Club ticket for four sessions of motivation. The promotional lit stated that these top dollar seats will be up closest to the stage where you are most likely to be noticed by, and to get to interact with the famous man. For around $1,600 you can get nosebleed seats where you are most likely to get noticed by, and interact with the hot dog vendor. Some audience members are going to learn to fire walk. Let's assume the trainee fire walkers will be volunteers, that they're not random attendees forced to the stage at gunpoint. Did you do the math? Let's say the average ticket is $2,000. The arena holds 18,000 people. That's $36 million in revenue. Of course there are expenses--the motivational guy is going to have to pay for the charcoal in the firepit, fire extinguishers, some Dr. Scholl's foot powder, stuff like that. Need Motivation? I've got your motivation right here! Price: $6.99. That leaves a $2,977 surplus from the alternative. No fire walking recommended by me, I'd suggest you use the leftover cash to buy a pair of Skechers and maybe an eBike. Or you could go on a cruise. What's that you ask? Motivation for just $6.99? Yup. My book: The Circle of Awareness makes fun of the Self Help industrial complex, but in the end provides wonderful motivation. Be entertained while you get the motivation of a lifetime! True tidbit from The Circle of Awareness: The first Self-Help book was titled Self-Help, written by Samuel Smiles. No kidding! Everybody, ninety percent of all people, are telling me that The Circle of Awareness has changed their lives. Take my word for it. Have I ever lied to you before? A criticism of traditional motivation is that it's fine, but temporary. People might leave the motivational venue with the best of intentions to, for example, lose weight. But it's a long drive home, I'll just stop at McDonalds and begin the diet and exercise plan tomorrow. And my feet hurt so much from that bleepin' fire walk that I deserve a large shake and fries. Maybe a Big Mac. The Circle of Awareness book is something you can keep and refer to time after time. You may want one copy for home, and another for the office. If you're really intent on spending $2,985 on motivation, how about 426 copies of The Circle of Awareness? Free shipping, and I'll throw in some collector's edition Book Marks. I'll even do a Zoom call with you and your unmotivated friends.  Pictured here: one of the thousands of people whose life was changed by The Circle of Awareness. Get it today! click here: www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMXB5NQK The cover alone makes it a handsome addition to any library. 
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You're All Winners!9/7/2024  There were several great entries for the Next Sport in The Olympics contest.
I have decided to award all 19 entries with the very valuable prize: A Book Mark, currently under design, sure to be a collector's item. In the future it could be as valuable as a Zimbabwe 100 trillion dollar bill, or a Bitcoin. In a dystopian, post-apocalyptic world, the Book Marks may be used as currency. Entries ranged from Dog Frisbee to Jarts to Tiddlywinks, to Hot Dog Eating, to Crolf. I had never heard of Crolf; it's a combination of croquet and golf for people who find those two sports individually too fast paced. There were two entires not suitable for publication. Those two suggestions have this in common: they were unspeakably bold. Without further discussion, I can state that either of these two events would be certain to get among the highest viewer ratings in Olympic History. One person suggested an event that's already in the current Olympics. Pay attention people! In addition to working on the Book Marks, I am writing, working on three projects: finishing the novel: The Dead Banker's Password, writing a new humor book: You Look Good For Your Age, and re-editing and releasing a new version of Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. After a recent podcast appearance on which I talked about Be Sincere, a listener got in touch with me and suggested I read the book again. I did, and saw several opportunities to make the book...how do I put this....better...and now with even more phony sincerity. It will also be reformatted. I'm doing that now. The book will stay in print, the revisions will be uploaded when done. When the Book Marks are ready I will get in touch with anyone who has submitted an entry and arrange to mail the prize. I advise recipients to keep the Book Mark in mint condition, like a Mickey Mantle rookie card. The best way to get in touch with me is email: [email protected] |
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