AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
November 2024
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 I failed to make the U.S. Olympic Break Dancing team. Actually, I didn't make it to the Northwestern Connecticut Senior Olympic Break Dancing Finals. So maybe it's just sour grapes.
Really, Break Dancing in the Olympics? The same gold medal the winner of the 100 meter dash or the 1500 meter freestyle gets? Does the Russian Breakdancing Judge cheat just like in diving and gymnastics? And what Performance Enhancing Drugs will the Russians develop for Breakdancing? How about Gyrate-O-Droxanderone, a steroid that will allow performers to spin on their heads for minutes at a time without getting dizzy? I've come to realize that the Olympics is a TV show, and the criteria for a sport being accepted is: will people watch it so TV networks can sell ads? As a wiser man than I once said, "The answer to all your questions is Money." What's next? I saw a bumpersticker: Put Bowling in The Olympics. I'm reluctant to stereotype people, but the driver looked like a bowler. Okay. How about some feedback? Send in suggestions for the next less than classical sport to go into the Olympics grab bag to: [email protected] The winning entry will get a prize
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Sit Still and Look at the Camera8/18/2024  That's good advice if you're going to be a guest on a video podcast. My most recent podcast was an appearance discussing my first book: Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. Click the link to see the podcast:. www.youtube.com/watch?v=llObycJPAx4 What's with the shades? I need to use a very bright ring light on the video, otherwise I look like a wrinkled 2,000 year old man. The bright lights cause problems, so I wear the shades; besides I always wanted to be a cool surfer dude. Proof: here's an un-retouched photo of what I look like with the ring light turned off:  Being on a podcast is a great way to publicize a book. Good podcasts are looking for guests.
When I started making these appearances well-intentioned friends said, "Why don't you go on Joe Rogan's podcast?" They're the same well-intentioned people who suggested I send copies of my books to Steven Spielberg and Ron Howard. After all, those guys are always looking for new movie material, right? Attention Well-Intentioned Friends: you can't start at the top with access to Joe Rogan's millions of viewer/listeners. To get on Joe's podcast it helps to already be famous, or to have written a New York Times bestseller. To those of you unfamiliar with Joe, he recently signed a $250 million contract with Spotify for his podcast. There are zillions of podcasts, and I started on some dreadful shows. Poor quality, unprepared hosts, podcasts that were gone after a month. I did one show on which the host sheepishly admitted after 30 minutes that he had forgotten to hit "Record" at the beginning. Would I mind starting over? That guy did not recently sign a $250 million contract. I've worked my way up, but have some work to do before the big time. Part of it is learning to be a better guest. I sit still and look at the camera now. Note: that's a cool picture of the old guy, huh? I made it using AI, then superimposed a sunglasses icon over the face. I think the picture would make a great book cover, I just have to write a book that matches the subject. It's in the planning stages. Working title: You Look Good for Your Age.
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Be Sincere, Mate8/17/2024  Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. That's advice given to Jimmy Sizemore, the main character of my first book. His father told him that, and meant it. Be Sincere... became the title of the book, first published in 2020. The book is quirky, and has always had a cult following. There are pockets of readers who pop up from time to time, even though I haven't advertised or promoted the book in years. The latest pocket is in Australia. I live in Connecticut, never been to Australia, no recent podcasts there. I cannot explain it. One of the Australian Kindle readers was kind enough to review: Reviewed in Australia August 13, 2024--Five Stars. Enjoy! Thoroughly enjoyed the adventure, no sugarcoating of BS. I wish people nowadays would stop being politically correct and revert to the good old “be yourself” days. Highly recommend! When I saw the recent Australian readership I decided to give the book a re-introduction. Maybe I can generate more pockets of interest. One of the great things about this book in particular is in how many countries the Be Sincere has sold. I even got a fan email from South Africa while I was standing in line for my first Covid shot. And I made lots of new friends, most of whom I will never meet, but we correspond regularly. Karen Corrine Herceg, a serious literary person, wrote a glowing review. Here's part: Beyond the personal life tips, there are the acerbic, satirical, and often hilariously funny Sizemore situations and anecdotes that give deep insights into human nature and, in many cases, uniquely American institutions.... Flynn accomplishes this with adroit observations and cutting-edge wit about behaviors and consequences that are ingrained in the American psyche and landscape. Flynn’s humor is excavated from a deep, intellectual acumen that serves to substantiate the validity of his points even while we’re laughing our asses off. There are no cheap shots here but authentic perceptions and keen, unrelenting examinations of some of our most cherished and supposedly sacred establishments and convictions. I didn't know Karen when she wrote the review, we have subsequently become friends. She's an award winning poet, writer, reviewer and editor. Among other things, Karen gets paid by the U.S. State Department to read her poems as cultural exchanges with other countries. I asked Karen if she would give my name to the the State Department; maybe I could do cultural exchanges, I could use the cash. She was noncommittal, it's been quite a while, and I haven't heard from the State Department yet. Then again. maybe it's not such a good idea. Would other countries understand the cultural significance of the following?: an excerpt from Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It- ...I passed an eighteen wheeler with mudflaps on the rear tires. The flaps were black and each featured a silver silhouette of a very statuesque naked woman...I wondered: has this ploy ever worked, like some kind of perverted fishing lure? In the millions of times women passed one of these trucks, has just one woman ever been overtaken by lust and thought: I must have this devilishly handsome, beef jerky stained, overweight sophisticated truck driver in the $1.99 three colored one-size-fits-all polyester baseball cap! I'll just pull over at the next truck stop and let him ravish my body! All I ask: take a look. Some of you will like it. Go check out Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It on Amazon. If you are an audiobook person, sample the audio version, narrated by the great Gary Williams. Click below all to see all the options on the Amazon listing: www.amazon.com/dp/B083LG9R4Z Next Week: AND--I just did a podcast all about Be Sincere. For those of you who haven't been a podcast guest, I'll talk about the experiences, and give you a link to the newest YouTube podcast. 
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 I know this from real life experience. I simultaneously published Hit Your Second Shot First with another title: The Snarky Golfer. Exact same content, same cover art, only the title was different. It was a test: which one would sell better? People hated the word "snarky" and ran away from The Snarky Golfer like they were extras in a 1950s monster movie. After a month Hit Your Second Shot First had sold more than 30 times as many books. Being a marketing genius, I took Snarky off the market. I bring this up now because I'm getting feedback on the title of my upcoming novel. Working title: Useful Idiot is turning people off. The word "Idiot" is seen as offensive, and I get it. I didn't work through two years and seven drafts of writing a book, only to slap a title on it that would make people run for the hills. I'm working on finishing the book. Comments, suggestions to: [email protected] As long as you're here, why not cruise around the website? You might want to read about my experience as a Jeopardy contestant, or take a look at my first book, Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. The new book. A new title has already been chosen. It does not include the word Snarky. Meanwhile, stay alert and stay in shape. Be ready to run. You never know what could be coming for you. 
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Burn the Ships!8/3/2024  When the Vikings invaded England their leaders burned the ships on the beach. It created a great incentive to move forward. As a result there are still a lot of blue eyed people in the British Isles. All three of my JR Johnson novels are among the top ten percent of books on Amazon. That's the good news. The bad news: There are 10 million books on Amazon! Congratulations Jim, you're number one million! To be successful, you need to be in the top one percent. And the pyramid gets mighty steep when you get near the top. I've taken what I've learned and am applying it to writing the fourth JR Johnson book, Useful Idiot. But here's the thing: I've burned the first three books. Not actually, I'm not a book burning guy. But I have taken them Out of Print. A bit of perspective: Combined, the novels have sold thousands of copies. Further perspective: My golf book, Hit Your Second Shot First, has sold more than all the novels combined, and continues to sell every day somewhere in the world That means you can't buy a new copy of the novels. I looked back at the first three. Losing Lola was written six years ago.. The books are pretty good, they have their moments, Losing Lola even won a couple awards. The Bitcoin Gambit sold the best. If I'm going to aspire to being a one percenter I have to produce better books. It's not the writing so much, it's the plot structure. I'm not going give another boring lecture on that, I don't want my friend Bob to stand on the railing again and threaten to jump. But pretty good isn't good enough to get where I want to go. Let's just say that I made amateurish mistakes, and leave it at that. To anyone who vigorously agrees with newfound my self awareness: Keep it to yourself! Nobody likes people who pile on. I truly thank all fans of the books, and I'm going to do better. Useful Idiot will be out when it's ready. It can stand on its own. I'm not sure what to do with the first three. Write them over? Leave them alone, and move on to the next phase? A lot will depend on the reception for Useful Idiot. So forget about one millionth place.... How about a million copies?  |
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