AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
June 2025
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Crayons and Electronics6/14/2025  Last week I mentioned that my upcoming book, Paperback Writer: Now Appearing at Bingo Night, is going to include a few Adult Coloring book pages. A reader asked: How do I handle this if I read on a Kindle?
First: If you use a Kindle Paperwhite: Don’t get out your crayons and color on the screen. This would be bad. My lawyer has advised me to put this disclaimer right at the beginning of the book. If you disregard this advice, you’re going to need a lot of Windex. Maybe a paint scraper. But, still rocking your iPad like it’s a high-tech clipboard? You’re in luck. If you’ve got a tablet—iPad, Kindle Fire, something your grandkid set up that you’re afraid to update—you can download the PDF version of this coloring book and use one of those fancy “apps” to color right on the screen. All it takes is a stylus or a confident index finger. No ink smudges, no broken crayons, no grandchild yelling, “You’re doing it wrong!” Now, if you’re a “real paper” person—because you like the sound of a good page turn and don’t trust anything that sends push notifications during church—you can print the pages out at home. Just download the PDF to your computer, open it (ask someone under 30 if necessary), and hit “Print.” Voilà. You’ve got yourself a coloring book, right there on paper. Ready for crayons, colored pencils, or highlighters from the junk drawer. So yes, even if you do all your reading on a Kindle, you can still enjoy the tactile thrill of coloring outside the lines. You just have to do one small, courageous thing: Dust off your printer and turn it on. And maybe buy some actual printer ink. If you’re like me, the ink cartridge is as dry as the Sahara Desert. Make sure to tune into this space next week. Discussed: Kids are using ChatGPT to write homework papers. Teachers are using ChatGPT to grade the papers. No humans are involved with the writing or the reading. Think about what is accomplished in this process. Coming soon: Paperback Writer: Now Appearing at Bingo Night.
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 My next book has a title. I used AI to test market some alternatives, and we came up with: Paperback Writer: Now Appearing at Bingo Night. Note to curious: you can't copyright a book title, or a song title. I can't use someone else's lyrics or tune, but I can use the title. Example: There was a corny Big Band song titled Stairway to Heaven from 1953, totally unrelated to Led Zeppelin... no problem. Led Zeppelin did get sued for supposedly stealing the tune for Stairway to Heaven from a 1960s rock band called Taurus, but Zeppelin won the suit. Anyhow.... Paperback Writer will have a few illustrations, in the form of coloring book pages, in a cynical attempt to tap the lucrative adult coloring book market. Crayons sold separately. Below is an excerpt. ------------------------------------------------------------------ What you’re holding now isn’t really a memoir. Or a novel. Or even a helpful guide for other confused writers. This is a book-shaped comedy club. Each chapter? A new set. The narrator? Me, pacing around your brain with a handheld mic and some unresolved issues. Why this format? Because, like the rest of humanity, I now have the attention span of a fruit fly. Let’s be honest: nobody reads long chapters anymore. People skim, scroll, read the first sentence, then wander off to watch a YouTube video called Top 10 Sandwiches Eaten by Classic Movie Stars. And you know what? I watched that one. Humphrey Bogart? Big fan of peanut butter and sardines on rye. Not really. I made that up. But admit it—you believed me for a second. Oh, and when someone asks what you’re reading, say: “It’s a literary masterpiece..." Then hand them a crayon. Because my “retire in comfort” plan is based on crayons. That's where the real money is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- The book is coming soon. Also to be an audiobook, narrated by me. Specifically written for your tiny attention span. Meanwhile, please check out Dead Men Don't Cash Checks click link to buy: www.amazon.com/dp/B0F3TT394W  |
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