AuthorJim Flynn is a humorist, writer and novelist. He is available for speaking engagements. To contact email: [email protected] Archives
February 2025
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That ain't Celsius, either!1/25/2025 ![]() That was the temperature at around 5 am today, Tuesday, January 21st in Colebrook, CT. It had been a mild winter up until then, so in the words of underrated poet/guitarist Joe Walsh: "I can't complain but sometimes I still do." For you red-blooded Americans who disdain the Metric System, that converts to -21.2 Celsius. Using either system, today's temperature is well above Absolute Zero, minus 459.67 degrees Fahrenheit, the point at which all nuclear motion stops and matter would cease to exist. I bring that up because: Am I the only one who has noticed that the national news features weather stories a lot more than it used to when I was a kid? And they like to scare people. Admittedly I was kid a long time ago, but still. When I was a kid they used to have stories about revolutions in Ceylon and stuff like that. These days the news people are worried about ratings, so Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) is out, and whether Taylor Swift's lipstick matched the color of the Kansas City Chiefs helmets is featured. Aside: I am now officially tired of the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce romance. Lots of people have a significant other. I'm also tired of Travis Kelce's brother. If I want to see guys who look like him, there's a biker bar on Rt 44 in New Hartford. Also included on the over exposed list is Peyton Manning and Eli Manning. Although I do admire Peyton Manning forcing ESPN to let his dorky kid brother tag along, I won't be watching them coach flag football at the NFL All-Pro extravaganza. Back to the weather: The national news wants to scare people to get higher ratings so they have come up with new terms: It's cold today. It was this cold thirty years ago, but today is a: Polar Vortex! Didn't have Polar Vortex's back in my day. We just put on our Bronco Nagurski long underwear and carried on. And it's not just cold in the Eastern half of the U.S.: 87 million people are At Risk! At risk? Of what? At risk of it being winter? Al Roker loves to tell me I'm at risk, and so does Jim Cantore. Another 453.37 degrees colder and all matter will cease to exist. That's when I'll consider myself At Risk! Another new term the TV guys use at any opportunity: Atmospheric River. That means it's gonna rain a lot, not that Bill Gates has finally perfected his Secret Weather machine and is able to raise the Mississippi River 30,000 feet in the stratosphere and dump it on a state he doesn't like. Well, maybe it's just the cold weather that's got me cranky. Good day to stay inside and write my next book. Note to language nerds: I know that the plural of vortex is vertices, but it seems a little high falutin' for this audience. Questions or comments to: [email protected] 's
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Spanning the Globe1/18/2025 Did you know you can promote a book across the globe without ever leaving your desk? Podcasts have made it possible for me to connect with readers from Australia to India to Canada—and everywhere in between. Remember the opening to Wide World of Sports? Jim MacKay said "Spanning the globe...." then it ended with everybody's favorite part...the guy falling off the ski jump. Mr. Agony of Defeat.
No danger of that in podcasting. It's odd though, sometimes the production qualities in say, India, are fantastic, it sounds like we're in the same room with no breakup in audio or video. Other times podcasts from Illinois sound like they were recorded on eight track cassettes then streamed from Neptune. Podcasting has given me a fascinating window into how my books perform around the world. For instance, Australia has consistently been my second-best market...ever since Be Sincere Even When You Don't Mean It. That book sold more copies in Australia in 2024 than in the U.S. And every month I get some royalties from Japan. On the other hand, I can't give the books away in the UK...For some reason, my sense of humor doesn’t seem to click with readers in England. Maybe I should brush up on my Monty Python references—though, truth be told, I’ve never quite gotten the hang of British humor! And Ireland’s a tough nut to crack for me—though I did have an interesting podcast experience out of Dublin. Let’s just say the host and I had very different senses of humor! I don't send out links to most of the podcasts in the last couple of years. The hosts tend to ask the same questions, and as charming and witty as I am, I tend to give the same answers. I don't want to wear you guys out. I'll schedule some more podcasts when I'm about to release the fourth JR Johnson book: The Final Password. Should be out in a couple months. Starting to work on the book cover---with Sean, the artist---from England! I can't even get him to read any of the books. Have you listened to any great podcasts lately—or are there any you’d recommend I check out? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Click below to get in touch: [email protected]
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Code Name: Salamander1/10/2025 ![]() After consulting with a marketing expert and doing some cogitation on my own, I have outlined a plan of battle for 2025. And don't kid yourself; it is a battle for peoples' attention. A quote from the soon to be published revised edition of You Look Good for Your Age: "But there’s a growing problem with being a writer—people don’t read books much anymore. Because they can’t pay attention! Scientific studies show that the average attention span of a middle-aged American these days is about the same as a salamander’s. And we’re not talking Mensa level lizards either, we’re talking fiftieth percentile salamander." First to appear will be the fourth JR Johnson novel. Working title: The Final Password. Next will be the paperback and ebook revised editions of You Look Good For Your Age. Third: the audiobook version of You Look Good.... Further details soon. questions or comments to: [email protected]
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Goals for 20251/4/2025 ![]() To reach you goals for the year, one thing is crucial: You need to have goals. First, I'm going to finish recording the audiobook version of You Look Good for Your Age. The audio version is quite different than the original written book, so I'll have to publish a second edition paperback. New! Improved!, Now with more jokes! If you already bought the book; thank you, and please consider getting the audio version. Second, and this is a big one: Finish the fourth JR Johnson novel and decide what to do with the first three books. I had taken the books off Amazon with the intention of rewriting the whole series. I am reviewing that decision with a couple people I trust, and I am also having my once annual paid session with my writing consultant. It's expensive but worth it, like getting a once a year tune up on your golf swing from a professional--instead of the guy you play with who just read a chapter in Ben Hogan's book. Third, I've got to refocus on advertising, especially the golf books. A few years ago Facebook advertising was extremely successful at targeting specific markets, and I sold a lot of copies, especially of Hit Your Second Shot First. Then the algorithms changed, and it doesn't work anymore. I've reached out to a few marketing types to see if I can get help. If you know anybody, please email me. Fourth, I've got to go out a speak more, go out and pitch my books. I'm working on getting more speaking gigs. BTW, I thought last week's blog headline in Sanskrit would be a dud, but an unbelievable amount of people have visited the website this week. How do you say JR Johnson in Sanskrit? It could be big. Get ready for golf season--give this to a golfer, Or try the excellent audiobook version Click to go to Amazon book page: www.amazon.com/dp/B09CGMTCBQ |